Mike Leon's Blog

Posted on Jul 14th 2007 at 02:47:10 AM by (Mike Leon)
Posted under Entertainment Geekly, Commentary, Feature, The Evil Leon

This week we've heard cliché muggle pun after muggle pun from thousands of clueless TV news anchors around the globe. That can only mean one thing: I'll be sleeping through yet another Harry Potter installment. That's right. The pubescent wizard returned in the fifth franchise film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Sadly, Emma Watson does not show her muggles at any point during the film. That girl can wave my magic wand any time she likes.

The 5th Harry Potter movie will be followed in two weeks by the 7th Harry Potter book, which analysts speculate will place J.K. Rowlings on the Forbes list somewhere between Bill Gates and God. God declined to comment.

As I predicted last week, the PS3 is now $100 cheaper, despite Sony's previous delusional claims to the opposite. Now a few more people on the aforementioned Forbes list will be able to afford one.

Aside from those things, this has been a really slow week for geeks. There hasn't been any huge gaming news, and North America's largest video game convention certainly isn't going on or anything...

Which brings me to E3. Bring back the booth babes. Really. I mean it. Guys who are into this stuff don't get to see beautiful half naked girls anywhere else. You've all seen the charts showing how the number of hours spent playing World of Warcraft is inversely proportional to the amount of sex you have. Please, developers, have pity on your loyal neck-bearded followers. Give them something to remember. Especially since nothing else you're doing seems to be catching anyone's interest.

Seriously, what is up with these games? A new Nights? The main selling point is that you can fly? Is that really the best they could come up with? Really? You could fly in the first Nights and nobody cared. Let me give you perspective: It was the mid nineties. All we had were 2D games. Sega made a game that was in full 3D in which you could fly with 360 degrees of freedom and no one cared then. What marketing genius green-lighted this newest debacle? I hope it was the same people who came up with the 32X.

Speaking of 32X, Nintendo sure is showing off some neat-o stuff. How about this steering wheel? They've literally just made a plastic holder for the Wii-mote. This is almost as dumb as the horizontal stand for the PS2 (I could write a ten page article on that stupidity, but I'll spare you). Peripherals like that are for people who refer to their games as "tapes". As in, "I have nine tapes for my Nintendo Wii."

There are a few promising games showing at the convention. The idea of online Mario Kart has potential. Assassin's Creed could be fun.

We'll see as E3 continues. Keep checking back with RFgeneration.com for the latest news.



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Comments
 
You calling Mario Kart interesting? Surely Hell has frozen over.

Great post though, the Forbes comment made me laugh a lot.
 
I am looking forward to seeing Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I liked the first 4 movies.

I agree with Dave on the Forbes list but Bill Gates isn't #1 anymore.

Thanks for another good Entertainment Geekly.
 
Thanks for the article. I hope you do this every week. Your articles are very enjoyable.
 
Mario Kart 64 was the bomb diggity. GC Mario Kart blew the monkey's nuts. Hopefully this one will at least be somewhere in between.

And it doesn't matter if Bill Gates is #1 anymore. As long as everyone is ahead of God, they're okay in my book.
 
@Mike Leon:

I'm hoping the Wii version is as good or better than the DS version. That'll be a feat to accomplish.

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