RF Generation.  The Classic and Modern Gaming Databases.RF Generation.  The Classic and Modern Gaming Databases.




Posted on Oct 5th 2007 at 02:07:06 AM by (Tondog)
Posted under Classic Gaming, Nintendo, Game Boy, Virtual Boy, Metroid, Kid Icarus, Game and Watch, Legendary

On this day ten years ago, Gunpei Yokoi, one of the most important and influential figures in gaming, passed away. For those of you who do not know, Gunpei is the creator of the Game Boy, the system that revolutionized portable gaming, and paved the way for every handheld system to follow.

Game Boy is not the first thing that Mr. Yokoi created. One day, he was riding home on a bullet train from his job at Nintendo. He noticed that the man seated next to him on the train was messing around with an LCD calculator. This event gave birth to Game & Watch, a series of stand alone LCD games. The Game & Watch was very influential on Nintendo's future, especially in modern times. In fact, for Nintendo DS, they pretty much took a two screen Game & Watch game (such as Mario Bros. or Donkey Kong), added modern LCD screens, and turned the bottom part into a touch screen. Also, if you ever play Super Smash Bros. Melee on GameCube, you'll notice that one of the characters you can play as is Mr. Game & Watch, who was the protagonist of many of the Game & Watch games, such as Ball.

After creating Game & Watch, Nintendo appointed him to the head of Nintendo R&D1. While heading up R&D1, he was instrumental in the creation of Kid Icarus, Metroid, and of course R.O.B. for the NES. However, R&D1's most famous creation was to come...

In 1989, Gunpei and his R&D1 team revolutionized the portable gaming market with the original Game Boy, which combined the cartridge based gaming of the NES with the portability of Game & Watch. The Game Boy inspired many of Nintendo's competitors to enter the handheld gaming ring: Sega with the Game Gear, and Atari with the Lynx. While both of them were technically superior and featured a color screen, each of them completely failed in comparison to the Game Boy, due to its very long battery life, small size, and excellent game selection. These factors caused Game Boy held onto the gaming market with an iron grip for 13 years through many variations and revisions, including a color version.

Gunpei's most ambitious project, Virtual Boy, was released in 1995. Virtual Boy was an attempt to create a "portable" system capable of displaying true 3D graphics. However, this system went down as one of the biggest failures in gaming history. Some of the reasons it failed were because it was only able to display red, caused eye strain in most users, ate up 6 AA batteries rather quickly, was not very portable, was fragile, and it cost $180 at launch. The system was discontinued a year later.

The failure of Virtual Boy really brought Gunpei down. He felt horrible, and Nintendo placed the blame on the Virtual Boy failure on him. This pressure led to his resignation from Nintendo on August 15, 1996, mere days after Game Boy Pocket game out in Japan.

After leaving Nintendo, he went to form his own company, Koto Laboratories. They started working on the Wonderswan for Bandai, however, Gunpei would never see the final product...

On October 4, 1997, Gunpei was riding in a car driven by Etsuo Kiso from Nintendo. Kiso's car accidentally rear-ended a truck driving in front of them the Hokuriku Expressway. Gunpei and Kiso got out of the car to examine the situation. While surveying the damage, another vehicle collided with the Kiso's car, killing Gunpei Yokoi.

Fast forward ten years, we can still find Yokoi's legacy still alive. Be it in Nintendo DS's Game & Watch inspired design, the continuation of Metroid, Mr. Game & Watch's appearance in Super Smash Bros, or in the game Gunpey for Wonderswan, PSP, and Nintendo DS. Gunpei Yokoi is an undisputed legend in the industry, and he is missed by all of us.

Check out this article from The Escapist for even more information.



Posted on Oct 4th 2007 at 01:57:14 AM by (OatBob)
Posted under List em, Top 5, Atari, 30 years, 1977

30 years ago this month the first of the Atari VCS systems started rolling off the factory lines in time for the holiday shopping season.  The Atari VCS turned out to be the first "popular" cartridge based game system that families could play in the comfort of their own homes.  With a lifespan of 14 years and a library of nearly a thousand titles, surely there is something for everyone.

Reviving a dead feature, this is List 'em.  I list my favorites and you list yours.  Here's my top Atari 2600 games:
  • Asteroids - An arcade favorite that also hit it it big at home.  The gameplay is simple; fly your spaceship in any direction trying to clear out the Asteroid field.  Fly too fast and you crash, and shooting larger asteroids makes them break into multiple smaller ones.  I think most people will find this one to be fun with an easy difficulty level.

  • Space Invaders - Fortunately in the 1980s there were two "baddies" in gaming, film, and comic books that were impossible to be politically incorrect as the arbiters of leading world faiths hadn't covered them... Aliens and Zombies.  Well, here's another mindless alien blaster that needs little introduction.  Move your ship along the base of the screen shooting vertically, and taking cover as needed behind destructible shields.  The invading ships are arranged in a grid with the higher ones being worth more points for scoring.  Occasionally, a bonus ship will chirp and fly across the top of the screen for big points and maybe extra life.  The sprites are not the same as the arcade, but the spirit is there and it feels much alive.
    "INCREASE SPEED, DROP DOWN, AND REVERSE DIRECTION!" -Lrr (Futurama)

  • Pitfall! - Play as a jungle explorer, Pitfall Harry, in search of untold fortune.  Obstacles along the way include scorpions, crocodiles, and quicksand, so you better be ready to jump into action or else you'll fall short.  Activision (the first "third-party" developer) really nailed it with this one.  Unfortunately the difficulty level eventually plateaus, and the only world records to be had are timed "perfect play" runs.

  • Adventure - Wander the world from a top-down viewpoint through mazes and castles.  Find keys to unlock newer areas to explore and slay dragons that stand in the way of progress.  This game was truly revolutionary in terms of mechanics and general scope and size.  A similar but far more refined game titled The Legend of Zelda came out on the NES a few years later and blew the world away.  To this date I still enjoy playing both games.

  • Missile Command - Move the cursor to trigger a mid-air explosion.  Use this to destroy all incoming missiles heading towards your bases.  This game gets to be tough after a while, with a fair, but gradually increasing difficulty with each wave. 

Wow, five is too short for listing all the great games for such a classic system.  There's always other goodies like Q*Bert, Pole Position, Breakout, , Yars' Revenge, Frogger, Combat, and multiplayer sports games like Basketball.  Expect simple gameplay and don't forget the RF switch.  Stay tuned on channel 3.



Posted on Oct 2nd 2007 at 03:45:02 PM by (captain_nintendo)
Posted under Site News, Site News

Captain's log.... Stardate 10.2.2007




Halo Developer to leave Microsoft

At least thats what Gaming e-zine 8BitJoystick and it's source want you to think.

According to 8BitJoystick: The source was identified as "a friend of mine who has someone close that works at Bungie".

Read the whole article here: Article

If you ask me, a friend of a friend, who's father's uncle told me that Nintendo is tired of selling consoles. I heard from this very reliable source that Nintendo is going to stop making consoles and handhelds very soon.

I hope you can see my line of thinking about 8BitJoystick's "source".


I would be shocked if Bungie totally stepped away from Microsoft. Those guys have to be making money "hand over fist". And let's face it, who doesn't want more money?





Posted on Oct 2nd 2007 at 06:48:24 AM by (OatBob)
Posted under Site News, Weekly Features, Racing, OutRun 2019, R Racing Evolution, PS2, GT3, Gran Turismo 3, Reps911, I WANNA GO FAST

This week we're shifting gears and cutting into the fast lane.

OutRun 2019 takes the lead this week as our featured game.  Easily one of the fastest racing games on the Sega Genesis, it still plays like the other games from the outrun series.  Of course, with these fast speeds come big crashes.  If you like any of the F-Zero or Burnout games, you'ld certainly get some fun out of this one.

The featured image this week is a real bargain bin gem, but don't let the cover fool you.  R: Racing Evolution looks to be another Ridge Racer game as it was made by Namco and features a shiny car and young Japanese female on the cover.  At least thats what I thought when I picked it up.  It turns out to be a racing simulation (that isn't Ridge Racer) with more simplified tuning options and a storyline.  This game features a lot of real cars with upgrade options where all can be obtained in a reasonable time period.  Stock cars, F1, offroad circuit, and drag racing are all represented here.  My favorite cars here are the DeLorean (yeah it was really intended to be a luxury sports car) and the Hummer.  The Xbox version of this game has a special Hummer with an Xbox paint job, adding in a touch of humor due to its ridiculous size, unplayable slow acceleration and speed.  This game is fun to play, and the variety of races keep it fresh.  The other drivers taunts are a little corny though, so try and keep the lead so you don't have to hear them as much.

The Gran Turismo 3 PlayStation 2 console bundle closes the gap for hardware.  The Gran Turismo series has always been the leading car simulation with high attention to detail and realism.  GT3 also helped give the early PS2 the big push for which Sony was hoping, contributing to the largest juggernaut in gaming history.   While there are millions and millions of PS2s out there, this bundle proves to have some collector's value as its the only real box variant or bundle for the early model PlayStation 2.

Speeding his way to higher collection numbers is Reps911.  He claims to have rekindled his collection habit after meeting his (approving) significant other.  Over the past couple years he's shown a fast accumulation of games and systems, and shows no signs of slowing down.

So next time you're rounding the  channel circuit, don't forget to stop by channel 3.



Posted on Oct 1st 2007 at 11:59:12 PM by (Tondog)
Posted under Rumor, Microsoft, Bungie, Xbox 360, Oni, Myth, FREE AT LAST FREE AT LAST

Yes, you did not misread that headline. Rumor has it that the developer of Oni and Myth, Bungie, is leaving Microsoft.

The rumor originated on a website I've never heard of named 8Bit Joystick.com. Today, Jake from that site posted that a friend of his who has a friend that works at Bungie told him that they are leaving Microsoft. Not exactly the greatest source in the world, but it sounds very plausible...

This "friend of a friend" stated that the split would have been announced today, but MS didn't want it to affect their 3rd quarter earnings, so it will be announced on the 6th of this month. However, the non disclosure agreement was lifted today.

Here is the email as quoted on 8Bit Joystick.com...
Quote
"So heres my big secret. You should google Bungie + Microsoft + separation this week.
You know that big ol BILLION dollar franchise Bungie has created for Microsoft, to show their appreciate Microsoft is letting Bungie leave. Of course Microsoft gets to keep all rights to the Halo franchise, but as today Bungie no longer part of Microsoft. Ask anyone who works there to search the global address book, they're no longer in there. Microsoft was supposed to release the press release today but if they wait till the 10/6 the impact wont effect the quarterly results. However today is the actual official date and the day the NDAs expire, however you still didn't hear this from me."

"Apparently MS just wants Bungie to make Halo for the rest of their natural days, and Bungie doesn't like how MS is constantly trying to "handle" everything they do; the way they market their games, the way they interact with their fans (basically the fact that they do appreciate their fans), and how stingie they are with the profits (comparable to the rest of the industry). So as of today they are their own independent entity. They'll probably make Halo 4 for Microsoft, however hey are also free to create new intellectual properties for whatever system they want. (Even though they prefer the xbox platform)"

"What a way to say thank you."


I certainly wouldn't be surprised if this rumor was true, because if you were a game company, would you want to stick to making one game forever and ever? I think not. And from Microsoft's point of view, this makes sense because they could make money off of selling Bungie, while still retaining the Halo license. That way, they can license the work on the Halo franchise out to other companies that would require less money to make it, and MS would still sell the same amount of copies since Halo is a big name. All the while, Bungie goes off on their own and makes games that Microsoft would never allow them to do. All parties are happy.

In response to these rumors, game blog Kotaku contacted Bungie, who redirected them to Microsoft's PR Firm who in response said "There's been no such announcement. We continue to celebrate the tremendous success of the global phenomenon that is Halo 3."

Is it true? Keep it on Channel 3 for the latest...

UPDATE:
The originator of the rumor is sticking to his word:
http://www.8bitjoystick.c...up_and_thats_my_story.php

Locks are being changes at Bungie's headquarters...

This is getting jucier...



Posted on Oct 1st 2007 at 03:48:36 PM by (captain_nintendo)
Posted under Site News, Site News

So there I was.... Saturday afternoon, and Scott shows up with a copy of Halo 3 for me. It was a birthday gift, and a good one! (Thanks Scott)

I was working on the site, and adding the past weeks Wii and DS games to the database. I was also busy writing some guidelines, but finished them up and proceeded to play some Halo 3.

The game looks great. I know there a lot of 360 fans out there who say Gears of War looks better. But I'd have to say that Halo 3 holds it's own. Halo has bigger maps, and more enemies on the screen at any given time. Both games are excellent (IMO).


But the reason I am writing this blog entry is to note that I "Finished the Fight" late Saturday evening. In fact, I beat it on the highest level of difficulty.(legendary) I didn't even play on the lower settings. ;p

The ending wasn't what I was expecting, and I'll leave it at that.






Posted on Oct 1st 2007 at 12:37:20 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Site News, Keep on Truckin, Donations



RF Generation is a community of gamers, collectors, and generally good people that make this place truly special. With this site though there are costs associated with it, whether it is domain registration fees, server costs, contingency budgets, or contests. Well, these costs add up, and for poor college kids such as myself it is a cost that we would love to be shared amongst the community. As such, today we start the 2007 "keep the site running" donation drive.

Any donation made during this drive will be used solely for server costs and contingencies. Over the past year, we've seen readership grow immensely, and we want to make sure that we have the funds available to ensure that the server and site are always running properly. With your help, we'll have the funds to keep the site going for another year. This year, we are looking for a goal of $500 to be raised.

The question then arises - what is the incentive for donating? Well, don't you love the site? Wouldn't you hate it if it disappeared? Well, while the site will never disappear, you certainly would make the poor college kids (and Scott) happy if you helped defray the costs of running the site.  Additionally, there are perks. Anyone who donates money this year will get to be given donor status, which let's everyone know that they helped to keep the site running. Additionally, we have something new this year for donors - freebies! If you donate $20, you will get RF Generation Logo Magnet, and if you donate $50, a cool RF Generation ringer T is yours to keep! That's our way of saying thanks for donating! Please note that to get your shirt or magnet you will have to provide an address to us via PM, and while we're pretty sure we can deliver our merchandise anywhere, we can't guarantee it. If we find out that you live somewhere where we can't deliver the shirt we'll make every effort to make things right, including having the shirt delivered to our house and then out via UPS, DHL, or Fed-ex rather than having it shipped directly from the manufacturer.

To donate, click the donate button located in the navigation area of our forum, or click here. We certainly appreciate any donation that is made, and with your help, we'll reach our goal. Thank you!




Posted on Sep 30th 2007 at 06:41:43 PM by (Tondog)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Sony, Playstation 3, New Model, THREE HUNDRED NINETY NINE US DOLLARS

The rumored 40GB, $399, model of the Playstation 3 bundled with Spider-Man 3 on Blu-ray is looking more and more likely. First, there's the rumor that Sony is turning to FoxConn to help make the new model. Then there's the picture of the label of the new model from the FCC website with the new model number of CECHG01. Now, the latest proof of the new PS3 model is on the Blu-ray Savings website. The new program lists a new PS3 model, CECHG01, which is the same one seen on the FCC website. Now, if you know your PS3 models, you'll know that CECHG01 does not match any current model. CECHA01 is the 60GB model, CECHE01/98137 is the 80GB+Motorstorm model, and CECHB01 is the discontinued 20GB model.

Is CECHG01 the new $399 40GB model? All signs point to yes. Now all that's left is for Sony to step forward and confirm it.



Posted on Sep 30th 2007 at 06:37:13 AM by (Tondog)
Posted under Rumors, Microsoft, Xbox 360, Chopping block, About damn time

According to Kotaku, an internal Gamestop email has been sent out requesting that all stores take down current signs and promotional material for the Xbox 360 Core model, because once the current stock is sold out, there won't be any more. In other words, the Xbox 360 Core is being discontinued.

Why would MS be eliminating the Core model (other than the obvious fact that it's a horrible deal)? To replace it with a new rumored Core model named Xbox 360 Arcade, which will not include a hard drive, but will include a 256mb memory card, a wireless controller, and 5 Xbox Live Arcade games.

What do I think of this rumor? I say, it's about damn time they get rid of the Core. No one is buying it, and it just makes sense to get rid of it. However, I don't know that replacing it with another model is a good idea either because if people just want casual games, they'll go to Wii or DS, which is where most of the casual games are these days.



Posted on Sep 29th 2007 at 08:12:04 PM by (Marriott_Guy)
Posted under System Overview, Casio PV1000

Casio of Japan, a successful electronics manufacturer, released their first video game console, the Casio PV-1000 in October of 1983 for 14,8000 yen ($129 USD). Debuting against the likes of the Sega SG-1000 and the Nintendo Famicom, this extremely rare and obscure system rapidly was an afterthought and not to be seen on video game store shelves shortly after its release.

The PV-1000 itself is not unattractive and the housing feels very well constructed utilizing thick, durable plastics. Dark-teal in color and rectangular in shape, the soft, curved molding culminates with the game cartridge tier. The front inputs are simple but elegant - two joystick ports are centered in the front of the unit face. The back features the same no-nonsense approach with the power connection and RF connectors anchoring the far left and right. The power toggle switch is located on the right side and there is a port on the left side of the system that resembles a PC connector of some sort (use unknown to me). Overall, the PV-1000 design is sleek, unobtrusive and modern compared to its counterparts.


Powered by a Z80A micro-processor at 3.5Mhz and 2Kb of RAM, this engine was able to display games at a resolution of 256 x 192 pixels in 8 colors. Games were released on cartridges approximately the size of Nintendo Famicom carts. A total of 15 games were released for this system, mostly ports of earlier Casio releases for MSX compatible computers including Pooyan, Amidar, Tutankhamon and Dig-Dug.  Overall video quality is comparable to the Colecovision. Game control is driven through a solid joystick featuring one (1) fire button at the top of the it along with a 'start', 'select' and a large auxillary button at it's base (packed in with the system). Casio also produced the PV-2000 in December 1983, which was a computer version of the PV-1000.   Both the PV-1000 and PV-2000 joysticks are compatible though the game cartridges are not.

Overall, the Casio PV-1000 was a below average system when it debuted and met its demise quickly. This is an extremely rare item and only recommended for the ultra-serious console collector. This console was released solely in Japan for a short period of time. I do not have a recommendation for price since I have only seen one of these systems once for sale - the one pictured in this review. Be prepared to invest heavily if you do wish to pursue - games are just as scarce and pricey.



Posted on Sep 29th 2007 at 05:07:19 PM by (captain_nintendo)
Posted under Site news, Site news

So I've had my Xbox 360 since about a month after launch. Of course I had mine pre-ordered, but I was on the second or third shipment. So in nearly two years, I have yet to get 100% of a games achievements. I finally broke through with Madden 06. Yes, it was really ewasy, and yes I borrowed it from Scott for the sole purpose of getting the achievements..... But it had to be done. :p



So here's to you John Madden. Thanks for the easy 1000 points!



Posted on Sep 28th 2007 at 08:57:55 PM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Damn, Rock Band



Joystiq is reporting a price point and release date for the Harmonix developed Rock Band. Who wants to take a stab at the price and date? No one? Well then, there it is:

PS3, XBox 360 - November 23, $170

PS2 - December 10, $160

I could have sworn that they said that the prices would be manageable, not nearing the price of a PSP! Holy crap! Certainly my desire to get this game has significantly dropped off, even if it promises me a harem of women I will not be purchasing this game at that price point. What's even more fun is that November 23 is a special day in the US. It would be... Black Friday. Who wants to fight hordes of shoppers for their copy of Rock Band? Certainly not me.

Sorry EA, but you just killed my interest in your Guitar Hero killer.

Ed: It should be noted that this price is for the Rock Band Bundle. The game is still listed to be $59.99 for the PS3/360 and drums / guitar look to be $80.

[Read on Joystiq]



Posted on Sep 27th 2007 at 08:08:53 AM by (Tynstar)
Posted under Rant, PS3

First - I have never written a blog before so I really have no idea what I am doing.

Second - Tony is a huge Sony fanboy. But at least he finally put his wallet where his non stop PS3 Fanboy month was. Smiley

Third - I am pissed right now at a few things one of them being Marvel Ultimate Alliance. 3 of my 4 characters are dead and I am trying to beat Mephisto with a character I just got and now I have to redo the whole damn level over and hope my guys make it through. They should since I now know what the hell I should do.

Fourth - Tony the new R&C will suck balls.

Fifth - I need to go to bed. I wake up in 5 hours for work.



Posted on Sep 25th 2007 at 05:34:06 AM by (Tondog)
Posted under Love, Halo 3

Back
Caught you lookin' for the same thing
It's a new thing - check out this I bring
Uh Oh the roll below the level
'Cause I'm livin' low next to the bass, C'mon
Turn up the radio
They claim that I'm a criminal
By now I wonder how
Some people never know
The enemy could be their friend, guardian
I'm not a hooligan
I rock the party and
Clear all the madness, I'm not a racist
Preach to teach to all
'Cause some they never had this
Number one, not born to run
About the gun...
I wasn't licensed to have one
The minute they see me, fear me
I'm the epitome - a public enemy
Used, abused without clues
I refused to blow a fuse
They even had it on the news
Don't believe the hype...

Yes
Was the start of my last jam
So here it is again, another def jam
But since I gave you all a little something
That we knew you lacked
They still consider me a new jack
All the critics you can hang'em
I'll hold the rope
But they hope to the pope
And pray it ain't dope
The follower of Farrakhan
Don't tell me that you understand
Until you hear the man
The book of the new school rap game
Writers treat me like Coltrane, insane
Yes to them, but to me I'm a different kind
We're brothers of the same mind, unblind
Caught in the middle and
Not surrenderin'
I don't rhyme for the sake of of riddlin'
Some claim that I'm a smuggler
Some say I never heard of 'ya
A rap burgler, false media
We don't need it do we?
It's fake that's what it be to 'ya, dig me?
Don't believe the hype...

Don't believe the hype - its a sequel
As an equal, can I get this through to you
My 98's boomin' with a trunk of funk
All the jealous punks can't stop the dunk
Comin' from the school of hard knocks
Some perpetrate, they drink Clorox
Attack the black, cause I know they lack exact
The cold facts, and still they try to Xerox
Leader of the new school, uncool
Never played the fool, just made the rules
Remember there's a need to get alarmed
Again I said I was a timebomb
In the daytime the radio's scared of me
'Cause I'm mad, plus I'm the enemy
They can't c'mon and play with me in primetime
'Cause I know the time, plus I'm gettin' mine
I get on the mix late in the night
They know I'm livin' right, so here go the mike, sike
Before I let it go, don't rush my show
You try to reach and grab and get elbowed
Word to herb, yo if you can't swing this
Just a little bit of the taste of the bass for you
As you get up and dance at the LQ
When some deny it, defy if I swing bolos
Then they clear the lane I go solo
The meaning of all of that
Some media is the whack
You believe it's true, it blows me through the roof
Suckers, liars get me a shovel
Some writers I know are damn devils
For them I say don't believe the hype
Yo Chuck, they must be on a pipe, right?
Their pens and pads I'll snatch
'Cause I've had it
I'm not an addict fiendin' for static
I'll see their tape recoreder and grab it
No, you can't have it back silly rabbit
I'm going' to my media assassin
Harry Allen, I gotta ask him
Yo Harry, you're a writer, are we that type?
Don't believe the hype
I got flavor and all those things you know
Yeah boy, part two bum rush and show
Yo Griff, get the green black red and
Gold down countdown to Armageddon
-88 you wait the S1Ws will
Rock the hard jams - treat it like a seminar
Teach the bourgeoise, and rock the boulevard
Some sau I'm negative
But they're not positive
But what I got to give...
The media says this




It start at the top
Now it's spiralling down
Works best when it's lost
Diggin' under the ground

Never mind it now
We can bring it back
It's total trash
And it's a natural fact
That I'm not no cow

It's never the same
It's more than a game
Can't take it away
Can't kill all the shame

It's a guilty man
That increased the crack
It's total trash
Sack 'em on the back
With a heavy rock

There he goes again
Magic monkey friend
Can I love the time
That he seems to spend
With all the kids in town

It start at the top
Now it's spiralling down
Works best when it's lost
Diggin' under the ground

Never mind it now
We can bring it back
It's total trash
And it's a natural fact
That I'm not no cow



Posted on Sep 25th 2007 at 04:42:07 AM by (Mike Leon)
Posted under Humor, pure awesome

HALO an objective analysis.

Now that Halo 3 has been out for exactly 17 minutes and we've already seen the epic simultaneous ejaculation of approximately 45692984u51 people who have never played a FPS with a mouse before, I thought a completely objective analysis of the series was in order.

But then I realized I'm incapable of being anything close to objective. So here's my dismissive and sardonic overview of the Halo series brimming with witty cynicism.

For a long time, Halo was the only good game on XBOX that wasn't also on PS2 or Gamecube or NES. Then Halo 2 came out and there were TWO good games on XBOX. Of course, this caused a dilemma for people like me who worked in the video game retail business at the time. People couldn't figure out how to put Halo 2 in the system. I had to explain to droves of fatasses, ages 14-29, that the XBOX has a “disc drive” in which you can place other games.

Sadly, I was unable to help the guy who glued the Halo disc into his system. He just kept saying “that part fell out once” over and over. Poor guy.

As it turned out, Halo 2 was actually somewhat inferior to Halo. I'm not sure why, because I never got to play it. Microsoft never ported it to PC, except as a reward for buying their shitty new operating system that people hate even more than their shitty old operating system. They did this for two reasons; A) They need to suck people into their next POSOP (Piece Of Shit Operating System) somehow, and B) Because the first Halo was a massive commercial failure on PC.

Why was Halo PC a massive commercial failure? It's simple. When you take the smartest kid in the retarded class and put him in with normal kids, he looks pretty dumb. What's that Halo? You can wipe yourself? That's my big boy! You're a superstar!

PC gaming is that normal class. Console gaming is kind of like the retarded class, but more ghetto and less intelligent. It's sort of like one of Cincinnati's inner-city schools. It's full of low-income minorities who do crystal meth and leave used condoms on the sidewalk. Halo can easily rocket to the top of the class there.

Half Life 2, stop showing your wee wee to the other boys!

In the world of PC first person shooters, where it's actually possible to do moderately important things like aim your gun, Halo is still the kid at the back of the room who just shit himself. Seriously, what is up with a game where the pistol is a better weapon than the assault rifle? It even has a longer range. What genius made that giant leap of logical ability?

So, its flaws and the PC port whose mother wishes she had an abortion aside, Halo is still a great console game with cool monsters, a sweet sci-fi story and amazingly creative level design.

So, its flaws and the PC port whose mother wishes she had an abortion aside, Halo is still a great console game with cool monsters, a sweet sci-fi story and amazingly creative level design.

So, its flaws and the PC port whose mother wishes she had an abortion aside, Halo is still a great console game with cool monsters, a sweet sci-fi story and amazingly creative level design.

So, its flaws and the PC port whose mother wishes she had an abortion aside, Halo is still a great console game with cool monsters, a sweet sci-fi story and amazingly creative level design.

So, its flaws and the PC port whose mother wishes she had an abortion aside, Halo is still a great console game with cool monsters, a sweet sci-fi story and amazingly creative level design.

Oh, oops. Did I just cut and past the same bland comment about Halo's level designs five times over again? Ah, the irony.

Then, of course, after you run through five or six of the most repetitive levels ever designed, you have to deal with the stock FPS zombie parasite monsters. This is getting ridiculous. These things are everywhere. Doom, Half-Life, Quake; it seems like every FPS on the planet has to try and surprise you with some kind of recycled parasitic monster zombie creatures. I was happy with the covenant. Those guys had personality. Then the Flood came out of nowhere and I realized more than ever I was just playing a Doom clone.

Ultimately, Halo sold so many copies that I ended up with two, and I don't even have an XBOX. Halo 2 sold more. Halo 3 will probably not sell so many. Why? It's on 360. There just aren't enough systems out there to pull the kind of numbers the first two managed, unless people buy extra copies for their summer homes (wink wink, Atari historians).

Since the ending has leaked on Youtube, my prediction is that Halo 3 will flop. People only play first person shooters for the storyline, and now we've already seen how it ends. For the record, (and this is safe to talk about now because the game has been out for 20 minutes already) the ending blows hard. It's like a four hour funeral sequence for the Master Chief. There isn't much else to it. That's pretty gay. It just lacks the kind of subtle character exposition of games like Unreal Tournament and Counterstrike.

Speaking of the Halo 3 release, where are Peter Moore's sweet tats for this one? I thought of a great place he could ink another ringworld logo.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
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