The AbyssThe Abyss

Posted on Mar 25th 2008 at 02:52:18 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Cynical Gamer, Feature, Nintendo

Nintendo! What the hell is wrong with you? Words can describe how frustrated you make me. It's times like today where I wish that you went the way of Sega. You know how to print money for yourself, but in terms of catering to everyone, you've failed. I remember how you said that you wanted to cater to everyone, but now it's obvious that was a crock of shit. Kudos to you Nintendo, we love the shovelware that you promote.

Get this Nintendo - a large population of Wii owners are actually above the age of 18! We're sick of the "Protect the Kids Bullshit!" Microsoft does a great job protecting the kids while at the same time providing the best online experience of any console. You, on the other hand, are so preoccupied with "protecting the kids" that you neglect the potential sales and desires of your older owners. It pisses us off, and we hate it.

I don't want Carnival Games. I want more games like No More Heroes. I don't want Smash Bros with Friend Codes. I want Smash Bros with Live. I don't want the PS2 version of Rock Band; I want the full fledged version that the 360 and PS3 has. Perhaps you don't realize it Nintendo, but what you're doing now is pissing people like me off because your policies promote developers to port CRAP! I'm sick of this crap, and I am getting rather sick of you.



Continue reading The Cynical Gamer #3: Nintendo



Posted on Feb 23rd 2008 at 02:00:51 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Nintendo, Wii, Wifi, WTF


So, Nintendo Wifi Connection. It sucks, really, really hard. Don't kid yourself, if you are looking for a competent online service you certainly will not find it in the land of Nintendo. Just hearing the words "Friend Code" is like listening to a teacher use her fingernails against a blackboard. It simply is not a nice thing, I tell ya. For a company leading the pack in sales, they certainly have no idea how to capitalize on the burgeoning market of digitally distributed content.

So, what is this I am hearing about Wii Pay and Play? An upcharge for online? Perhaps, but right now we just don't know. What we do know is that Wii Pay and Play will be collecting money for "services that will adapt flexibility". What the hell does that mean? Kotaku speculated, so will I. It sounds as though Nintendo wants to print more money. More money that it does not need. So, perhaps they want to screw you, John Q. Consumer. Do you enjoy getting screwed? Personally, the thought of being raped by Nintendo does not entice me.

Perhaps Nintendo will wow us with something that is truly amazing. Show us what you mean, Nintendo, rather than being ultra cryptic about things. Show us that you are going to use this "system" for something awesome. Given your track record in the world of digital distribution and online gaming, I somehow seriously doubt it.

Nintendo Announces Wii Pay & Play [Kotaku]



Posted on Nov 11th 2007 at 09:10:54 PM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Microsoft Owns You, Microsoft, Nintendo, Sony, Shaft


Well, some of you may be aware of the Spike TV Video Game Awards. It's pretty much a show of which games are the most violent, bloody games on the market, not necessarily the best, unless of course you thoroughly enjoy only violent, mature games. Certainly, this list is a reflection of our culture's Roman Tendencies. I thoroughly look forward to the day when I can watch prisoner's fight to the death against each other at the local stadium. I hope they are given random weapons, ranging from truly awesome to absolutely absurd. Who wants to fight to the death with a rubber chicken? Certainly, I do not.

So yeah, without further ado, here is are the nominations for the Game of the Year:

Game of the Year
BioShock (360)
Halo 3 (360)
Mass Effect (360)
The Orange Box (360)

Hmm... how, Microsoft skewed. Apparently Microsoft is kick ass in the violence department. The rest of the nominations are found after the jump.



Continue reading Spike's VG Award Nominees Are Up



Posted on Jun 21st 2007 at 03:32:50 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Whammy, Adults Only, Rockstar, Nintendo, Sony, Manhunt 2


As reported by Joystiq and Kotaku, both Nintendo and Sony will refuse to license Take Two's Manhunt 2 if it retains it's current AO rating. This development comes just one day after the BBFC banned the game in the UK and the ESRB gave the game the aforementioned AO rating.

Reasons for not allowing licensing are pretty well stated. For Nintendo its policy is in the Buyer's Guide:

Quote from: Nintendo
Please note that Nintendo does not sell or license games that carry the ESRB rating 'AO' (Adults Only).

Joystiq contacted David Karraker, Senior Director of Communications for Sony for comments, to which Karraker replied that it is currently Sony's Policy not to carry AO rated content on their systems.

It looks as though the Manhunt saga is getting more and more grim for Take Two and Rockstar. What will happen to the game? Will it see major edits to lose its AO rating, or will the game be scrapped? Given the time they put into the game, I'd expect the former, but who knows, I could be surprised. One thing is certain though, if the ESRB rating stands through the appeal process, Take Two will have to do something. Certainly now it is looking like the game won't be making its release date in three weeks, that's for certain.



Posted on Jun 16th 2007 at 01:28:38 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Nintendo, Sega, Wii, Craziness


According to a Reuter's Article, according to Scott Steinberg, the Vice President of Marketing for Sega Sammy. Who does he think is going to win? Well, in his infinite wisdom, he predicts the PLAYSTATION 3 to be the winner in the next console war, regardless of the fact that the wii is currently the fastest selling console of this home console generation. As Satoru Iwata would say, "It prints money".

Steinberg believes that the creative pool of Wii development will likely die within the next year. Regarding the Wii, Steinberg states,

"But how much value can developers and creative folks get out of this wrist motion two years from now, or 5 years from now, or 10 years from now?"

Well, to Mr. Steinberg my response is probably more creativity than Sega has put out since its Dreamcast days, but then Sega hasn't exactly been the most stellar publisher post-dreamcast, save for Shenmue and the handheld Sonics.  Who wants to buy the 360 or PS3 version of Sonic? I bet they'd give that away.

The truth is that perhaps the Wii does have a creativity drought. How many mini game based games can publishers possibly release? Are those games really what the mass market wants, or is it more of publishers looking to make a quick buck? The truth is that there is much potential for great games on the Wii, but everyone seems to be content taking the easy way out, developing crap. If the Wii fails it will likely be because the only games ever released for it were crap.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
This is TraderJake's Blog.
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This is where my thoughts go and are never heard from again.

Well, maybe not, but this is the repository for all of my published thoughts and rantings. It'll make my day if you find at least 10% of it amusing and enjoyable to read.


Sorry for the other 90%.

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