A Completely Unrelated Series of Thoughts.. part 3

[Sauza12]

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

[Izret101]

Hahah i ran across some more on a guys myspace. Some of these where on the first list i saw some of these are new. None have been listed thusfar.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.       1490       7.47

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.       3309       7.46

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.       1478       7.36

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.       1965       7.35

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.       279       7.33

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.       266       7.32

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.       2458       7.31

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.       2481       7.3

They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.       166       7.25

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.       1310       7.24

As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.       287       7.22

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.       2328       7.22

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.       2097       7.2

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.       1558       7.19

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.       2430       7.19

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.       1326       7.15

When Chuck Norris was driving he saw a sign that said, "Caution: Small Children Playing." So he slowed down, but then it occurred to him: Chuck Norris isn't afraid of small children.       273       7.15

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

[Zimbacca]

You guys remember how my dad was suing my mom?   Well he won.  I'm fucking pissed.

[Tynstar]

You guys remember how my dad was suing my mom?   Well he won.  I'm fucking pissed.

No I don't. But that sucks.

[Izret101]

He was suing to pay less child support if memory serves.

That sucks man.

Cheer up for Xmas atleast.
You can continue to be pissed afterwards but no sense in your family let it ruin the holidays.

[captain_nintendo]

3 more hours and then its winter break!

2 weeks of pretty much no work and getting paid for it  |D

I only have to come in a few days to supervise some construction. Needless to say I am bringing my DS to work on those days  

[Izret101]

I have to go buy my mom some slippers.
Burn her some mix CDs for her car.

Wrap them and other gifts and then go to my dads.

Xmas at his/my grandmothers house tomorrow.
Come home tomorow night Xmas at my house in the morning.
Family Xmas at my house in the afternoon.

Good stuff.

[captain_nintendo]

Nothing going on for Christmas Eve here.

Big Christmas bash at my parents on Sunday though.
I expect there to be so many new toys for my son, that my car will be packed.

[Sauza12]

I think my girlfriend has 14 different families.  This is my Christmas schedule:

Tomorrow I have to go to my girlfriends house for her mothers side family thing

Sunday we go to my families Christmas celebration

Monday is my girlfriends fathers side Christmas

Wednesday we are getting together with some of her friends for a Christmas celebration

Next Saturday (New Years Eve) is her stepfathers family Christmas.  

On the bright side this means plenty of presents for me! |D

[Zimbacca]

Tomorrow: Hang out with Phia.

Sunday: Opean presents from my mom's family.

Monday: Back to work.

[The Metamorphosing Leon]

Stupid Bengals. All I wanted for christmas was 12-3. And a Glock.

[bum-man]

Stupid Bengals. All I wanted for christmas was 12-3. And a Glock.

At this point I would have almost rather had another loss, it makes the draft choice that much better.  Of course the Bills have a so-so record on high draft picks so I guess it doesn't matter much.  

[Zimbacca]

RANDOM LINK!

http://www.catsinsinks.com/

[CatchFiveBats]

To keep in the same vein...

http://www.stuffonmycat.com/

- Zac

[Tynstar]

[size=12]I HATE MY ISP COX. THEY DISCOUNTED MY HOUSE AGAIN FOR NO FUCKING REASON. [/size]

Last time I had no phone, cable and internet for 5 days. This time not internet. It might be back on Tuesday and they unhooked it on Friday. I really don;t understand how this company isstill is business.