A Completely Unrelated Series of Thoughts.. part 4

Halo 2 Review from Composite Generation. Sorry, don't feel like un-HTMLing

I love Halo 2. What can I possibly say about Halo 2 that could be bad? Absolutely nothing, that's what! It is totally the coolest game that has ever been created, and it is obviously the best game yet created, until they create Halo 3. Microsoft has such a winner on their hands. Why didn't some other company think of such an amazing game? The LameCube and the GayStation 2 would have been smart to have created a game that is anything like Halo 2 Nintendo is so stupid. They had Gold on their hands with GoldenEye, but they let the gold sift through their hands. Too bad. Now the best company ever has created Halo 2 It kicks so much behind. When I say it kicks behind, it really kicks behind. I bet you'd love to know why it kicks so much butt! Let me tell you why!

First and foremost, this game is mature. I love beating the crap out of the covenant army, and stealing Banshees and Warthogs. Things die, who doesn't like death. Americans love death. I love death. Die die die Covenant!!!!!!! More games would be awesome if Ãƒâ€šÃ‚Â they were maturer. That is why no one gets that LameCube. Real Mature gamers get the XBOX for this game becuase this is a mature game that is totally awesome!!!!!

Second, the Master Chief. God, what woman doesn't love that hunk of Man Meat. As a woman, I find the Master Chief extremely hot. I'd love it if my boyfriend was to surprise me one day wearing the Master Chief's armor and ask me to him remove the armor... piece by piece. That would totally make my day. I spend hours in front of the giant Master Chief statue at my local Media Play, plotting and schemeing a way to get that statue out of the store without being seen. Luckily the security is horrible there so it shouldn't be that hard to get it out of that hellhole. Men with guns are so hot. When I am not playing Magic or playing Halo 2 I am totally fantasizing about what the Master Chief is like under the armor. I bet he is totally hot. And I get to control him in Halo 2. Every sane girl Loves that.

Third, the graphics. A game sucks if it doesn't have awesome graphics. I've played some old games that are "awesome and a half" like Super C and quite frankly the games suck. Their graphics are no match for the amazing graphics of Halo 2. The Master Chief is amazingly rendered. He looks so real, like he is standing there right next to me, asking me to spend eternity with him. The levels and enemies are awesomely rendered and designed as well, but their wowness is totally amplified when the Master Chief model is there as well. Satoru Iwata is such an idiot. Innovation doesn't make games great, the amazing graphics do. Why draw circles on a touch screen when I can gaze upon the wonderfully rendered Master Chief, complete with 4X Anti-Aliasing, 8X Anisotropic Filtering, and Dynamic Lighting, all being seen in glorious High Definition. It's lovely I say, lovely. Anyone, not just girls, should love it.

Fourth, ONLINE BABY! I hate how for LAN parties everyone has to lug all their equipment over to someone's house and set it, and then install the games, and then maybe get a few games in before everyone decides it's time to get drunk. Well, with Halo 2, they have incorporated XBox Live into the game. Now I never have to leave my room and expose myself to the light in order to play the game
against my friends during the day. Now I can just sign on to XBox Live and frag away, it's totally awesome. My friends never win, I am totally awesome. Want to try me on? My handle is MasterChiefMe1. I'll frag your butt so hard it'll bleed. Online Rules.

Halo 2 is totally the best game ever. I don't understand what is wrong with you if you don't see that. Perhaps you are one of those LameCube owners and enjoys playing stupid games like Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat If that is the case, GET A REAL SYSTEM STUPID! Any real gamer has Halo 2, and so should you. After all, it is inherently the best game ever!!!!!!!!!