The 'Norch PorchThe 'Norch Porch

Posted on Apr 1st 2016 at 12:00:00 AM by (Zagnorch)
Posted under Trump, Donald, 2016, election, pokemon, skylanders, wavebird, canada


The_8-Bit_Donald's 8-Point Plan to Make

GREAT Again!

Good morning, fellow RF Gentlemen! Thank you for attending my rally on this beautiful April day. I hope we'll have many more days like this ahead. There's no greater collecting site for video game enthusiasts anywhere on the internets, really! It's true! It really is. But there have been many signs of a decline in the last few years, which is why I'm campaigning to become this fine institution's illustrious leader. You see, I have a YUUUUGE plan, a GREAT plan-- really, it's great, it really is-- to put RF Generation back on the top of the vidya heap!  I have eight points that I will pursue when I claim my rightful fuhrerdom leadership:

Continue reading Making RF Generation GREAT Again!

Posted on Nov 16th 2015 at 06:00:00 AM by (Zagnorch)
Posted under secret santa, skylanders, mystery, plush

Welcome, fellow RF Gentlemen, to...

THE 2015


AAAAND that wraps it up for this year's edition of the Not-So-Secret-Santa giveaway. Hope to see y'all again this time next year!


Posted on Nov 17th 2014 at 05:00:00 PM by (Zagnorch)
Posted under secret santa, skylanders, mystery, pc, plush


And that's it for this year's Not-So-Secret Santa! Thanks for participating, and have yourselves a wonderful holiday season!


Posted on Nov 3rd 2012 at 12:52:59 AM by (Zagnorch)
Posted under skylanders, halloween wii drunk nintendo trigger happy giants

Greetings from Terra...

Inspired by http://www.rfgeneration.c...m/index.php?topic=10499.0 , I decided to celebrate Halloween by gettin' my drink on with some of the freakiest critters around--




Geezus, I just about had a heart attack there. What the hell, man! No way I'd hang with a weirdo like that!

I have standards, you know.

Moving on: I decided to spend Halloween night knocking back a few of my fave libations-- Disaronno and Strongbow cider-- while playing Skylanders Giants, and pausing occasionally to jot down my thoughts on the game as they come to me. There's no possible way anything could go wrong with this little experiment.

Nothing like gettin' tanked to a video game aimed at 'tweens, lemme tell ya.

On the upside: no trick-or-treaters have darkened my front door in years, which means distractions are all but nonexistent. Best of all, I can keep this bag of fun-sized Butterfingers for myself.

Hey, Bart, I got'cher edible shorts right here.

On the downside: I have no close friends to invite me to their cool Halloween shindigs. Which means I'm all alone, with only my thoughts to keep me company.

My dark, depraved, disturbing thoughts.

And now you know the real reason why I drink...

But let's dispense with the self-pity, and get this mofo started:

A shot for my homies-- except for Pop Fizz (he's had more than enough).


There's the "pussy-ass nancy-boy" setting:

The "you're still a nancy-boy, but I still have a little respect for you" setting:

Aaand "the super-macho manly-manchild)" setting.

Whattaya think of that last one, Flynn?

My thoughts exactly!

CHAPTER 1 (Drinks tote board: Two shots of Dis and half a Strongbow)

I'm starting this one with the Giant Bouncer, and alternating with a few of my Series 1 faves. He ends up taking out a giant robot voiced by Mr. Sulu on this level. Which kinda sucks, 'cuz I really like that Sulu guy. (NOT in that way, though; besides, he's off the market)


Hey, I know: I'll just pretend he's the evil mirror-universe Sulu. You know, the one with the scar?

Yeah, thas the yticket. Now I don't feel so guilty abut killin him here.

CVHAPTER 2 (3 Dis, 1.5 SB)

I jusyt realized that Bouncer's voice is done in a stereotypical black urban fashion, reminiscent of Jazz from the first Transformers flick, but a bit more subtle. But if youthink that's bad, whenever Hex eats something, she sounds just lik Oprah Winfrey doing thast mmm-hmmm sound..

CHAPTER 3 (4 DIS 333 SB)


When I saw the new Hotdog chara for this gam I thought he lokt kinda lame. I mean even his name has absolutl no imagnatin behind it at all. But then I found his soulgem 'ultimate' powerup.

A FLAMING BAG OF DOG POOP heh hee now I gortta add him to my collection when hecoms out juswt so ican use that power that's just so awesome

CHAPTER 4 [6 DIS / 4 SB)

Hpoly crap bad sulu is still alive! sorta yay and sorta boo too I guess.

The skystones minigames are waaay better than the cardmatch crap in the 1st game I mean theyre much more challenging cuz I actally lost a few of em

dAMN Stelf elf is hot, holy crap did I really just type that. That is SOOO GAY ha heeee

Aw no she brought her kid sister with her.
What a freakin c0ck-blok, right guys?

CHAPTER 5 [98 dis 51n sb]

Nooo I got kild for the 1st time, and my fave skylander too oh why, Eon whyyyyy

I dint man to killya Trigs, Im so sorty

Okay finally completd th levl. But I think ill go through the 1st 5 levels again to complewe all the challenges. Better check the strat gide first tho. But I'm havin a hard time flipping the pages, and it hard to reed

this things written in martian or something

Need to use the littl3 boys room brb oops never mind. Back to th game

BACKTRAcking CHAPS 1-5 (booz level OVAR 9000+ THIS... Is... SKYLAAANDS!!!)

MMM these are gooood butrfingers. Got some prunes too dont ask.

I kinda feel bad for Kaos' sidekick glumshanks. I cn tell from his dmenor n expresons that he knows his boss is gonna fqail hard in the end, but he goes along with the deal anyway. His loyalty to his buddys lost causes iz so beautifl an yet so sad.But  Im NOT gonna cry, Im not gonna cry--- oh god im totally cryin. Im such a fruit

Hes just tryin to get by in this cold cruel wrld
the best he can. Is that so rong?

DAMN I wish this was a M rated deal so I can see bllod guts & body parts fly when I fight da baddies just  thatd be the coolst thing evar! And the kids would lov it too

Woohoo just got my first Sklyander levled up to 11 goddan it took frekun long enuf

Why cant this game support th wii classic contllr id lov to have tha opshin

Hah I just killd a horde of elfthings eat me you douches

getting sleepy


To be continued?

Posted on May 3rd 2012 at 06:37:49 PM by (Zagnorch)
Posted under Tuesdays, Sega, Genesis, Skylanders, Kid Icarus

Hey now, everybody!

Sorry it took me so long to get to the second installment. Sadly, the last several Tuesday hauls haven't amounted to-- well, I'll let the late motivational speaker Matt Foley say it (at the 9-second mark):

God, I miss Chris Farley...

...but not nearly as much as David Spade's career does.

But I digress. Things really turned around for me on the first three Tuesdays of April:

April 3rd

-   InterAct 5-input AV selector switch box,  $3.99

CIB (unless noted otherwise) Sega Genesis games for $2.10 each:
-   Crue Ball
-   Rings of Power
-   McDonald's Treasure Land Adventure
-   Shadow of the Beast II
-   Haunting, Starring Poulterguy
-   King's Bounty: The Conqueror's Quest
(no manual)
-   Buck Rogers: Countdown to Doomsday

Rounding out the day's retro haul were the following loose carts for $1.99 each:
-   Spy Hunter (NES)
-   Super Mario Kart (SNES)
-   Donkey Kong Country 2 (SNES)
-   The Adventures of Might Max (SGen) (I only bought this one 'cuz I dug the label art)
-   Pac-Attack (Game Gear)
-   Pinball Dreams (Game Gear)
-   Super Mario Land 2 (Game Boy)
-   Wario Land: SML 3 (Game Boy)
-   Pokemon Blue (Game Boy)

I also grabbed a copy of the Prima strategy guide for Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic...

...only to discover I already had a copy in my collection. (I definitely hafta look into this smart-phone-app thing so I can keep track of what I have)

Finally, there was the brandy-new triple-pack of Skylanders figures. I'm kinda ashamed to admit it, but... I'm really diggin' that silly game. I finally get the whole "Gotta catch 'em all!" philosophy of Pokemon, 'cuz I gotta have all of the Skylanders figures and adventure packs. And I'm almost there...

April 10th

-   Pelican Arcade Fighter Fully Analog Joystick for PS2, $3.99
-   Prince of Persia: Revelations (PSP), $1.95
-   Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (Greatest hits)(PSP),  $1.95
-   $4.99 grab bag with a CIB copy of BrainAge for the DS, Sonic 2 and Sonic Chaos Game Gear carts, and Super Mario Land 2 Game Boy cart

The local Salvation Army had 3-cart bundles of N64 games for $7.99 a bundle, and I picked out three of interest, which included:
-   Super Mario 64
-   Mario Kart 64
-   WWE WrestleMania 2000
-   Madden 2001
-   Super Smash Bros
-   Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
-   South Park
-   007: The World is Not Enough
-   Charlie Blast's Territory

April 17th

The day started with the acquisition of several loose Sega Genesis carts for $1.99 each:
-   Castlevania: Bloodlines
-   Tinhead
-   Williams Arcade's Greatest Hits
-   Joe & Mac
-   Jurassic Park: Rampage Edition

Then continued with:

-   The Bard's Tale (PS2)
-   Devil May Cry 2 (PS2)
-   Pro Pinball: Big Race USA (PS1)
-   M&Ms Shell Shocked! (PS1)
-   G-Loc: Air Battle (Game Gear)
-   Predator 2 (Game Gear)
-   Dragon Crystal[/i] (Game Gear)
-   Defender/Joust[/i] (GB)
-      Dreamcast with AV cord
-      Street Fighter II: Special Champion Edition (CIB)(SGen)

I also acquired a chunk of new stuff, starting with the arrival of the Kid Icarus: Uprising I ordered from Amazon.

Later in the day, I took advantage of a Best Buy Skylanders promotion, where I received an exclusive Volcanic Vault piece after buying the frustratingly rare Dragon's Peak adventure pack, and a Wrecking Ball figure.
I made my final purchase of the day at the Toys R Us across the parking lot from the Best Buy. I didn't intend to buy anything, just browse. But then I saw that the latest ish of Nintendo Power included a set of AR cards for Kid Icarus: Uprising. It became the first non-back-issue Nintendo Power I've  ever bought. Sheesh-- first it's Skylanders with the figurines, and now it's the new Kid Icarus with the freakin' cards. They really know how to reel me in, lemme tell ya.

Eh, just thinking about it is way too depressing. Time to switch gears and move on to...

... The TL;DR Sidebar!
-   The biggest missed opportunity of the week-- or three weeks, rather: I was at a brand-new Goodwill when I noticed a customer had a boxed Sonic 2 edition Sega Genesis console in his cart, with the box in excellent condition, priced at $14.99.

-   Then there's the biggest crack-smoker of the week, which goes to the thrift store that prices up its used video games so ridiculously high, the people in charge of pricing have to be smoking crack. This (dis)honor goes to the Mountain View Goodwill, which was asking $20.99 each for its CIB PSP games... most of which no longer sell for that much brand-new! They also had several loose UMDs that they were trying to move out for $6.99 each.

I'll leave you with a few thoughts from a truly visionary fan of interactive entertainment. Sadly, outside of Japan, his vision remains largely unfulfilled to this day.  Please note that, while the crude illustrations that accompany the audio are safe for work, the audio itself is another story. So be sure to have your headphones at the ready for...

Until next time-- whenever that might be...


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