DISCLAIMER: This is a work of satire. Enjoy this off the wall review, and take it to be lighthearted. I mean, it's funny. Cory in the House... amazing game? Ha. -TJ
Cory in the House
"Probably the Greatest Game You'll Ever Play"
Cory in the House is just fantastic. There is no way around it. Cory has been entertaining us for years on the Disney Channel, and finally he can entertain us on the Nintendo DS. I don't know about you but when I heard of Cory on the DS I was as giddy as when I go to church (I'm a Catholic schoolboy so I love to go to church). Cory is just, amazing. This game is amazing. This game is perfect.
Cory in the House may seem like your typical platformer but oh no, it is far from it. Cory is out to save the world from an evil scientist who has decided to turn Cory's bobble-head doll of the president, or as Cory likes to say 'the prez,' into a destructive force capable of destroying destructive things such as the world which is destructible.
Cory runs, Cory jumps, and Cory uses his kung-fu action to blast his way through 9 levels of platforming/action goodness reminiscent of a good Jackie Chan meets That's So Raven meets Cory in the House show. Players utilize the touchscreen in such was as to slide their finger across the screen horizontally in order to make Cory karate chop or slide their finger across the screen vertically in order to make Cory do a kung-fu kick. Furthermore, players can blow into the mic and make Cory shoot fireballs from his mouth. Talk about awesome.
The enemies in Cory in the House are extremely varied and well thought out. Typical enemies include ninjas and Russian scientist, but later in the game Cory begins fighting against people he initially thought were his allies. Probably the most impressive boss was the giant robot Raven in which players had to run up to her feet and breath fireballs at her chest. Being a relatively early on boss this heightened players expectations immediately and brought about the sense that this is one of the greatest games ever.
The graphics and music are phenomenal. Cory is detailed brilliantly. Every little detail of Cory's beautiful and masculine body is clearly visible and downright pleasing to look at. When Cory sweats, the sweat drips down his pecs and glistens against his tight abdominals. The music which accompanies the various action is epic and mindblowing. The score is fully orchestrated with cellos, violins, and the clashing of cymbals.
Overall, Cory in the House is a must play. Simply put, you must play this game if you enjoy videogames or enjoy having fun. With a fantastic story, insanely innovative gameplay, amazing graphics, and an unparalleled score, Cory in the House stands leagues above the competition. This game isn't a game; it is an experience, it is an art.
And who can argue? Cory in the House is one of the greatest games ever.
My reviews thus far. I'll just edit this whenever there is a new one instead of adding new entries. Any comments would be cool I guess. These are in order of when I first published them here.
Reviews Since I Stepped Down AKA The Reviews I Didn't Have Pressure of Completing And Thus Are Long, Elaborate, And Entertaining
Bleach: The Blade of Fate - Nintendo DS
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-087-S-03740-A
Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-076-S-04040-A
Timesplitters
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-072-S-02340-A
Contra 4
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-087-S-03760-A
Dark Cloud 2
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-072-S-03320-A
Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-072-S-01230-A
Reviews from my Features Editor days, AKA The Reviews Which Range From Great Quality To Complete Crap Do To Time Contstraints And Pressure To Submit Them
New Super Mario Bros.
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-087-S-01070-A
WWF Wrestlemania Challenge
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-027-S-07520-A
Phantasy Star Collection
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-074-S-03610-A
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-087-S-00380-A
Fisher Price: I Can Remember
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-027-S-02320-A
Shadow Hearts Covenant
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-072-S-07860-A
Game and Watch Gallery 4
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-074-S-01880-A
Zone of the Enders: The Second Runner
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-072-S-05780-A
Sword Master
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-027-S-06430-A
Shaq Fu
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-044-S-04940-A
Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-087-S-00360-A
Mario Hoops 3 on 3
http://www.rfgeneration.c...nfo.pl?ID=U-087-S-01360-A
If I am forgetting any of my reviews I submitted feel free to let me know. And honestly, feel free to criticize me as much as you. And final note... I don't really care for my reviews from when I was a Features Writer. The time constraint sorta imposed on me so I didn't really take my time, plus my writing skills have improved tremendously. Also, considering I really don't play videogames seriously anymore I feel like I am a bit more objective about what I am reviewing.
Well, due to my huge amount of freedom and crazy sleeping pattern as well as my unusual awesomeness at Contra 4 even though I suck at every other Contra, I wrote a Boss Faq. Uhh, probably no one will read it but I figure I may as well post it here.
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Contra 4 Boss FAQ
v.1.0
(C) Pasiderva (Notyou) 2007
All Rights Reserved
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-----------------
Contra 4 Boss FAQ
v.1.0
(C) Pasiderva (Notyou) 2007
All Rights Reserved
-----------------
=============================
Table of Contents
=============================
I. Introduction
II. Layout of the Faq
III. Boss Faq
1.A Tram Car
1.B Wall
2.A Snipers
2.B Alien
3.A Holograph
4.A Ship
4.B Mr. Punchy or Sir Puncho
5.A Battle Cruiser
5.B Fish
6.A Skeleton
7.A Tank
7.B Metal Spider
7.C Running Bug
8.A Red Falcon's Heart
9.A Black Viper
9.B Black Viper True Form
IV. Acknowledgements
V. Legal Stuff
I. Introduction
Contra 4 has been called by many the hardest Contra game next to
Hard Corps. Yeah, this game is hard, there's no two ways around it.
The bosses in this game pose a great deal of challenge to players,
thus causing many deaths. For some reason I never really had too
much trouble with the bosses in this game, or the game for that
matter. Everything in the game has a pattern that can be learned and
manipulated. Utilizing this Faq you will hopefully be able to kill all the
bosses without losing a life. Hope this helps.
*To quickly search for a boss hit control f then input the number dot
and letter next to the boss in the table of contents.
II. Layout of the Faq
The layout of the boss Faq is fairly straightforward. First comes the
section number, who the boss is, the name of the boss (which ispretty
much always unofficial), then the recommended weapon. After that
there is the actual writeup section where a detailed analysis on how to
beat the boss is provided. After that, depending on whether or not the
fight drastically differs depending on what weapon you use, there may
be a 'without recommended weapon' section in which there is a
detailed analysis on how to beat the boss without the recommended
weapon.
III. Boss Faq
1.A
Stage 1 Miniboss
Tram Car
Recommended Weapon- Spreader
This boss is fairly easy. As you approach the boss, walk very slowly
down the slight hill. As you are walking the Tram Car will wizz into
view. Since you approached extremely slowly no enemies will come
at you from the left. Simply aim up and unleash as many bullets as
possible into the thing. The Tram Car moves pretty eratically
however, before it fires it always stops. As soon as it stops make
sure you move out of the way. Other than the actually Tram Car's
attacks, enemies will come from the right. Simply shoot them as they
appear. Furthermore, make sure you do not move onto the break
away ground. Other than that fire up and prepare to dodge the car's
attacks.
1.B
Stage 1 Boss
Wall
Recommended Weapon- Spreader/Crash Shot
Another relatively easy boss. As soon as you walk into the boss'
range fire diagnolly up right. You should take out the sniper
behind he manages to fire a shot. If you have the crash shot simply
stay on the ground and fire at the base door on the bottom.
Doing this will take out the base door before it manages to fire a shot.
The wall will begin to rise. Run to the far left of the screen and hold R.
Fire diagnolly up right. You will take out all four snipers before they
manage to fire any shots. Switch to the crash shot and fire to the right
at the bottom door. Once again you should be able to take it out
before it fires a shot. Don't worry about the turrets, as long as you stay
to the left of the screen they can't reach you. Now that the bottom
door is taken out it's time to go after the top core. Wait for the top
core to fire. After it is done firing grapple onto the helicoptor. Fire at the
core with the crash shot and it will go down without firing another shot.
Without Recommended Weapons-
As soon as you walk into the boss' range fire diagnolly up right taking
out the sniper. Jump onto the platform and stay left. The turrets will not
be abe to reach you so simply shoot them and take them out. Wait for
the base door to fire then jump down and fire at the door. Keep firing
until you hear the door make a beep type noise. Jump back up to the
platform to avoid the shot. After the shot jump back down and repeat.
Once the door is gone the wall will begin to rise. As soon as the
helicoptor appears grappe onto it and take out as many snipers as
possible. Drop down onto the platform, not the ground, if a bullet is
headed towards you or the core begins to fire (once again listen for
the beep). When you are on the platform take out the turrets while
waiting for the oportune moment to grapple back onto the helicoptor.
Once the snipers are gone, simply take out the core and
the door with the aformentioned techniques.
2.A
Snipers at the top of the waterfall
Recommended Weapon- Spreader/Crash Shot (fully upgraded)
As soon as you get to the top of the waterfall move to the right of the
base door and fire left. You will kill every single enemy that
comes out the door. As soon as the door closes begin firing up with
the spreader. You should take out the first wave of snipers
with ease. As soon as they are gone switch to the crash shot. Platforms
will rise with grenade throwers. Stay under the right platform
and spam the shoot button up. You should take out the right grenade
thrower before he manages to attack. After the right guy is
gone simply move to the left one and take him out. The platforms will
begin to fall. Move to where the right platform was and spam
directly up with the spreader. Black snipers will appear and you will
take out the second sniper from the right before they manage
to fire. After he is taken out immediately run right to avoid the shots.
Jump left over the bullets while firing left then upon landing spam
fire at the far right sniper. You will take him out. Now the bullets are
easy to avoid. Spam fire left at the sniper that you initially spam
fired left at and take him out. The last sniper alive will automatically be
impaled.
Without Recommended Weapons-
As soon as you get to the top of the waterfall move to the right of the
base door and fire left. You will kill every single enemy that
comes out the door. As soon as the door closes run right and left while
firing diagnolly up right while running right and diagnolly up
left while running left. You should take out the snipers before they fire
a shot. Platforms will begin to rise. Move under the right
platform and spam fire up hitting the right grenade thrower. Both the
grenade throwers will throw an arced grenade that is easy to
dodge by simply moving right or left as they close in. After the grenades
explode go back to shooting the grenade thrower. Wash,
rinse, and repeat until the grenade throwers die. Now run to where
the right platform is and spam fire up. You will hit the second right
sniper. As soon as they begin to fire run right then jump left over the
bullets while firing at the left snipers. Move back under the
second right sniper and continue this tactic until he is dead. Now go
to the second left sniper and use the same technique except
substitute right for left and vice versa. Once that sniper is dead, take
out whichever sniper you choose with ease. The last sniper will
be impaled.
2.B
Waterfall Alien
Recommended Weapon- Crash Shot
Extremely easy boss right here. As soon as the battle starts he will
move right and bring down both of his claws. Stay in between the
claws. He will bring up the claws and move them left and slam them
down quickly. Do not try to stay under the claws this time,
instead move right. Now he will come back right with the claws.
Simply stay under the thing's head from here on out. All the while fire
directly up with the crash shot and he will die before even beginning
to do his tail attack. Once his first form is dead he will break the
bridge. Simply stand in the center of the bridge and fire straight up
with the crash shot. The thing will die for good before coming close to
hitting you.
Without Recommended Weapon-
Follow the above strategy up until the enemy doesn't make any effort
to slam down it's claws. Run to the far right of the screen to avoid
it's tail attack. Run back to the center of the screen and spam fire up
at the head. He will begin to fire fireballs from his mouth from the
left side of the screen to the right. As they approach you, quickly
move left under them and continue firing up. The alien will raise the
bridge and fire the fireballs from right to left. Move far left and fire
diagnolly up right at the head. You should manage to kill the first form
before he drops the bridge again. He will then chase you down the
waterfall as the bridge is falling. Fire straight up at the head. He will
continue firing from left to right then right to left as the bridge is moving
up and down. Do not attempt to run under the fire balls unless the
bridge is moving down. Continue firing and it will die.
3.A
Holograph
Recommended Weapon- Crash Shot
Quick battle. The holograph can only be attacked when it is in
one piece. Simply fire at the holograph with the crash shot. Barrels will
come towards you. Duck down and shoot the barrel in front of
you. Proceed to shoot the holograph while it is in one piece. If it
manages to make an orb appear shoot the orb before it can do
it's sweep attack. The holograph will go down before any enemies
appear.
Without Recommended Weapon-
At the beginning of the battle shoot the holograph until the
barrels start to come. Duck down and shoot the barrels in front of you.
Continue firing at the holograph. Once it begins firing the orbs
make sure you focus your attack on the orbs. Never have two orbs
on screen at once. Orbs will inevitably sweep down towards you.
Simply jump over them. Enemies will come from the right and left of
the screen. When they do focus your shots on them. If they shoot
at you duck. Proceed to fire at the holograph. Once it takes enough
damage it will move back and forth eratically. Continue shooting at
the holograph, and as before, when the orbs appear focus your
attacks on them. After a while the holograph will go down.
4.A
Ship
Recommended Weapon- Spreader
Stay on the top platfrom. Move far right, hold R and fire diagnol
down left. As the ship moves further right switch to firing straight
down.You should have taken out a good amount of the cannons.
Now the ship will fire it's lasers. Run right while firing diagnolly
down left at the lasers. As they close in hold the right button to
avoid being hit. The ship will stop completely and on the left side
of the ship a turret will open and begin firing up randomly. Dodge
the bullets and move directly above the turret. Do not move
whatsoever, the turret can not hit you. Fire straight down at the
turret until it blows up. Now the ship will fire it's lasers. Move
directly above the furthest left laser and fire straight down. After
it begins blinking run as far left as possible while firing diagnolly
down right until the lasers close in. Hold the left button until the lasers
stop firing. If there is anything still alive on the ship besides
the lasers now is the time to take them out with ease. The ship will
begin to fire the lasers again but this time from left to right. Use
the same technique to take out the lasers and the ship will go down.
4. B
Mr. Punchy or Sir Puncho (don't question me)
Recommended Weapon- Crash Shot
This is a really weird battle. It can either be unbelievably simply
or hard (talking about hard mode here). At the start of the battle,
stay to the left of the screen. With luck, the enemy will punch
directly down with it's right fist (about 75% of the time). When it
does, move to the left of the fist and fire diagnolly up right at
the arm. It will pull back up the arm and attack again. Now if it is a
punch straight down with the right hand, do the same technique;
however, the enemy may punch with it's right hand which is off
the screen. If this happens the hand will come in at a 45 degree
angle or so. Try to time your jump so that you manage to jump left
over the edge of the fist just missing getting hit. Once out of harms
way fire at the arm. After a while the left arm should blow up.
Now move to the right side of the screen. The enemy will punch
down and simply use the same technique. Once that hand is blown
up he will move back and forth across the screen firing easy to
dodge missiles. Simply shoot at the enemy's head until it dies.
*During the entire battle the enemy will be firing easy to dodge
missiles. With the spread shot you can just shoot them down.
5.A
Battle Cruiser
Recommended Weapon- Any
When the battleship first arives, flying enemies will come out of it.
They will fire homing bullets. While attacking the enemies make
sure you shoot down the homing bullets. A bit into the battle an
automatic screen clear thing will fly across the screen. Shoot it and
get it. Continue killing the bad guys. Once they are all gone the
screen will shift and enemies will come out of the bottom of the ship.
They will fire up at you in a sweeping motion from right to left.
Stay in between the two far right enemies and fire straight down while
gradually moving left. After the first wave dissappears move right
a bit because another wave will come. Continue this technique until
the enemies are gone. Now a black enemy will be on the left end
of the ship while the flying enemies come out again. It's essentially
the same thing as before but now you have to kill the black
enemy in order to progress. Pretty easy.
5.B
Fish
Recommended Weapon- Spreader/Homing Missiles
The fish will swim across the screen. Follow it to the edge of the
screen. It will reappear and fire a laser that sweeps all the way
across the screen besides directly above it's eye. When it is done
firing the laser continue following above the eye. About halfway
across the screen jump and fire straight down at the eye. After
getting hit the fish will shoot some scales into the air that come out
of the water while swimming quickly off screen. Follow to the
edge of the screen while shooting at and avoiding the scale's shots.
Repeat the technique until the fish dies.
6.A
Skeleton
Recommended Weapon- Crash Shot, Machine Gun
Fun battle. During the first form the enemy will fire a row of fire
that sweeps across the screen. First it will sweep right, then left,
then right. Then it repeats. Simply time your jump over the fire.
That's the only attack the enemy has, so just unload on the thing as
you are jumping. After a while the enemy will get pissed and
chase you backwards. Now it will do the exact same attack pattern,
however it is invincible. There are two switches that can be shot,
one to the right of the door and one to the left. When the enemy
finishes it's third fire sweep it will pause. Fire at the switch on the
left as fast as you can (use your machine gun if you haveit), since
the last fire sweep is left to right. The door will close decapitating
the skeleton. If you can't seem to fire fast enough, there is a trick
involving a spoon. Take a spoon and rub it quickly across the fire
button. Weird but it makes you fire faster than you otherwise
could.
7.A
Tank
Recommended Weapon- Any powerful weapon
Before the fight make sure you take out the black sniper on top of
the building. Once that is done proceed to the fighting area. The
tank will come from the righ side of the screen. It can only be hurt
while firing standing up unless you have the spreader. Knowing this,
stay to the left of the screen and fire directly at the tank. It has two
attacks, a turret shot or grenade shot. The turret shot is quick.
Either duck (recommended) or jump over it. The grenade shot is
slow, jump over it. In between dodges keep firing at the tank. After
a while it will close in on you. Duck to avoid the barrel of the tank.
Once it pulls back continue firing at it. Continue the technique until
the tank goes down.
7.B
Metal Spider
Recommended Weapon- Homing Missiles
During the entire fight, fire up at it's head. The spider will crawl back
and forth between the two buildings firing bullets straight down.
Dodge the bullets while continue firing straight up. After a while the
spider will shoot fire at one of the two buildings and move to
the opposite side of the screen. It will then shoot a sweeping laser
toward the building. The fire on the building will fall down. As the
laser approaches the building jump over the last wave of fire onto
the building and climb up to the top of the screen narrowly
avoiding the laser. Once the laser stops firing immediately jump
to the center of the stage and continue attacking the enemy. Repeat
this technique until the spider dies.
7.C
Running Bug
Recommended Weapon- Crash Shot
This is my personal favorite boss fight. As soon as you walk into the
area the ground begins to shake. Stand still. Out of the ground
rises a huge bug with you on top of it. Immediately shoot down at
one of the four red circles on the bug. Those are your main
targets for now. As the bug is running it will not attack you, nor
can it hurt you. The only way you can be hurt is by the motorcycle
bad guys at the bottom of the screen. The blue one's fire bullets
at you while the red ones throw grenades. Now, continue blowing
up the four red circles while avoiding the bullets from the motorcycle
guys. If necessary, feel free to take them out as you see fit.
Anyway, once all four of the red circles are blown up (you don't
need to destroy all four, but it helps), kill every single motorcycle
bad guy. Jump down to the lower section of the bug then jump
onto a motorcycle. Ride right to the head of the bug and unload on
it's head by firing diagnolly up right at the head. Motorcycle enemies
will come past you from the right side of the screen. As they
do, immediately let go of R and fire backwards at them taking them
out before they can fire. The blue guys will go down quickly
but the red guys may throw a grenade. If they do, stop firing and
focus on dodging the grenade. Once the grenade is dodged
kill the grenade thrower. Once the enemies are dead go back to
shooting the head of the bug until it is dead.
8.A
Red Falcon's Heart
Recommended Weapon- Crash Shot
Stand in the center of the screen and fire straight forward with
the crash shot. The blast radius will destroy any of the enemy's
that appear. Continue firing until the heart is dead. If you don't
have the crash shot, fire at the heart. Turret type things will
come out of the ground every now and then. When they fire
just jump over the shot. Continue shooting the heart until it is
dead.
9.A
Black Viper
Recommended Weapon- Crash Shot
Before the fight begins move to the far right of the screen. Spam
fire left. If you have the upgraded crash shot or the laser
he dies before having a chance to attack you. Once the thing
turns gigantic fire straight up at it's anus or whatever until it dies.
9.B
Black Viper True Form
Recommended Weapon- Crash Shot/Spreader
Destroy the eyes. Don't go out of your way to destroy them
but if you can it gives you an extra life. Now stand under either
of the snake holes (where the long tentacle type snakes come
out). And wait for the snakes to come out. There are four
patterns they follow;
1. The right snake will come down to above the to
bottom screen and go left while the left snake goes
all the way to the ground and goes right. If this happes head
to the right side of the screen and fire left at the snake.
2. The opposite
3. The snakes will come down then make an inward
motion then twist out. Looks a bit like this )(. If that
happens stay in the middle and fire at either snake.
4. The snakes will both go straight down to the second
screen then curve up in the middle of the bottom
screen. When this happens a grapple point appears on the chin of
Black Viper. Grapple it and fire straight down at the
snakes.
Memorize those patterns and be prepared to move. Once one
of the snakes dies a grapple point will appear at the snake
hole. Grapple onto it and fire at the brain of Black Viper until the
grapple point disappears. Now stand directly in the
center of the screen and fire straight up. The brain has 3 attack
patterns;
1. The brain will come down from the center of the
screen and unleash some orbs that move very slowly then
fly in at you real fast. Avoid the brain while firing the spreader at
both the brain and the orbs. After enough hits the brain will
disappear.
2. The brain will come down from the center screen
and unleash four mini brains at a time which will fly across
the screen either horizontally or vertically. Move to the left of
the screen avoiding the brain while firing at it and jump over
and mini brains that fly past you. After enough hits the brain
will disappear.
3.The brain will swoop in from the top left while
spewing four mini brains at you. As soon as you notic it is doing
this run to the far right, hold R and fire your spreader diagnolly
up left. You should kill two mini brains right away. The other
two can be taken down with ease.
Black Viper will reappear and follow the same attack patterns.
Use the same techniques and after a while Black Viper will die.
Congrats, you beat Contra 4!
IV. Acknowledgements
Thanks to Konami and Wayforward for making this game, the
Super Metroid board on gamefaqs for keeping my interest in
gamefaqs (otherwise I wouldn't care to write this faq), uhh me
for beating the game, the Contra 4 board on gamefaqs for
being full of a bunch of awesome people, MEGAMUR for his
amazing Contra record which made me strive to be
better than him in Contra 4 (he doesn't know this or know
who I am), gamefaqs for hosting this, SailorBacon for running
gamefaqs, CjayC for startying gamefaqs, and anyone or
anything I may be forgetting.
If I seem to be missing something from the faq or you have
something to add email me at notyou2188@gmail.com.
V. Legal Stuff
This Faq is copyright me, Pasiderva. Don't copy, steal this,
change this, claim it as your own or any other illegal crap that
you may be tempted to do.
Figured out I may as well start a blog, because frankly I'm on the internet form may time than I spend playing videogames. At least, now that I'm not in college anymore I have too much time on my hands.
Anyway, time for the emo moment of the blog.
I'm sick, wahh me.
Ok onto something that is somewhat cool. I finished the Soul Society arc of Bleach a few days ago, feel free to flame me but IMO Bleach is pretty damn fantastic that is if you watch it subbed. Uhh so now I'm moving on to Cowboy Bebop. Yeah for me. Will I finish it anytime soon? No, because I have a massive headache and reading hurts my head (ironically I am playing Final Fantasy 3 right now and spending most of my time on board  .
Oh yeah, I post on board 8 which is a, dun dun dun, gamefaqs board. If you bother to take the time though, gamefaqs has some kickass boards devoid of annoying users, etc. Board 8 is imo the best of those boards. Pretty much it's a social board where we talk about stuff ranging from games, to the gamefaqs contest, but mainly bullshiting around ala SomethingAwful or LueLinks. Uhh, pretty sure I'm going to be hated for going to gamefaqs way more than here, but if it makes you guys feel better I suicide my account for no reason about every other month.
Hmm, what else, oh yeah I got The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly a while ago but still haven't seen it. I feel like crap and just can't seem to get myself around to concentrating on something that is ungodly long.
Well that's it for my first blog entry, long and boring. Why am I doing this? Well besides taking Tylenol, sleeping, and reading message boards I have nothing better to do. Some form of catharsis or something. Dun dun dun.
Also what the hell is with having the yellow boxes but having to fill in all the boxes? Dave if I wasn't feeling so ****y I'd go down stairs and forget what I had in mind and come back upstairs.
 Ahh yeah baby feels good to be back in style with features that aren't crapily thrown together. This time, they are actually somewhat decent and will keep me from losing my position as a features writer. So all you people out there who hate me and my sarcasm and jackass attitude, hi.
Moving on, it's Mario sports week! Ahh yeah baby. Perhaps the most fun sports games of all are the Mario sports games, so why not celebrate in style by throwing a fiesta! Go round up some illegal immigrants and have them party with you! Have them play some Mario Tennis with you or maybe even make a Mario pinata and break it with them! Ahh yeah this is going to be one hell of a week if you do that.
Ehh hem, moving on seriously, I hate getting down to the business and doing what I'm actually supposed to be doing, the featured game is Mario Hoops 3 on 3. I like it, in fact I liked it enough to include decimals in the damn score. Any collaboration with Square Enix and Nintendo is good in my book, except like some crappy game where Peach gets captured and you play as Cloud Strife to stop whoever the final boss is in any Dragon Quest game with Cloud bitching the entire freaking game. That would probably suck. Anyway, the featured image is Mario Golf for the N64. I love that game. If you don't, you aren't American, and if you aren't American, then hi. Next the featured hardware is the wii remote, or the wiimote. Anyway it puts an interesting spin on Mario Soccer. Finally the featured collection is Magewout's because he won the 'Shimra randomly selects a user to be featured' contest. Congrats bud, congrats.
As always keep it tuned to Channel 3.
Hopefully that headline caught your attention and I don't lose my powers to present you with awesome features that consistently blow your mind. This week is dedicated to the other Phantasy, the lesser known Phantasy, Phantasy Star. Oh boy see what I did there, that was awesome beyond all belief, using Phantasy instead of fantasy.
Ok then, moving on because I am growing tired. Our featured game is Phantasy Star Collection, which is essentially ports of Phantasy Star 1, 2, and that one that sucks. Our featured image is Phantasy Star Universe. From what I understand it is a highly addictive MMO set in the Phantasy Star universe. Sounds awesome. Our featured collectiont is that of ztaKxileF. Not only does he have a crazy username, he has a kickass collection which consists of, you guessed it, damn near every Phantasy Star game. Finally our featured piece of hardware is the LaserActive Mega LD. I'm not going to lie, I have no idea what it is. It has a crazy name, looks crazy, and there are a bunch of pictures of it. Also one user on this entire site owns it, which is awesome beyond all belief.
So there you have it, the features. I knew you guys were all excited for me to do the features again. Another week, another set of features as I say. Well, I should probably stop trying to waste space now and say that tagline. As always, keep it tuned to channel three.
Oh yeah, Shimra nor RFgeneration condone the killing of babies. Unless they refuse to give up their candy of course and you don't want to look like a wimp for not being able to steal candy from a baby.
After a long absense I am back, and with my return from Canada I provide you, the wonderful site patrons, outstanding features once again. What's the theme this week oh wonderful Shimra, you may be asking yourself. Well the theme of this week is non-existant. Look forward to my next features update though if you like themes. I'll give you a hint: vampire killer.
Anyway, the featured game this week is Shaq-Fu. Personally, I had a bit of fun playing this game, though I completely acknowledge it is a complete piece of crap. Even though it is terrible, I have to admit the ending of the game was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in any game and I highly recommend completing story mode just to see it.
Moving on the featured hardware is the Game Boy Color Atomic Purple, a model which I have always wanted due to being able to see the circuits. Going with the somewhat lackluster theme of the Game Boy Color the featured image is the Super Game Boy. This thing was fun as hell and it saddens me deeply the one for the Gamecube doesn't have any of the special features the original had. Finally our featured collection is that of enderxv2. He has a really awesome room consisting of multiple movie posters which definately caught my eye.
Well, there you have it. Sorry I did not provide a theme for the week, hell I don't even know if you guys enjoy themed weeks, but next time I assure you that there will be a theme. As always, keep it tuned to channel 3.
This week we are taking a look at a few of Hideo Kojima's more overlooked titles. You would think that with a name as big as his, these games would stand out just as much as the Metal Gear Solid franchise. Sadly that is not the case.
That being said, our featured game is Zone of the Enders: The 2nd Runner. This is one of my favorite games. It has the unrivaled cinematics you have come to grow and love from Hideo Kojima as well as enough action to keep one satisfied for months. Along with the featured game we have the featured image which is Snatcher, the acclaimed Sega CD game produced by Hideo Kojima. The featured collection is eternalblue81's collection which consists of nearly all of Hideo Kojima's games. Finally the featured hardware is the Gamecube modem. The logic behind this is because that thing is as funny as the scene in Metal Gear Solid 3 where Eva ramps the motorcycle off Revolver Ocelot's face.
Besides the games which I have mentioned, there are plent of other Hideo Kojima related games which are overlooked such as Policenauts, Boktai, and Tokimeki Memorial Drama. Hideo Kojima has a bit more under his belt than just the Metal Gear Solid series, and this week is dedicated to those games.
Well to a certain extent that is. I received quite a bit of help from the users to determine the specifics of this week. I would like to thank those who gave me suggestions. To start off, the featured game is Sword Master, a very mediocre game that really doesn't have too much going for it. The featured hardware is the Sega 32 X. With the exception of a few diamonds in the rough, this, like Sword Master, doesn't have much going for it. The featured image is that of the hilarious cover of Valis III, thank you Dreamcaster for the recommendation. Finally, the featured collection is hydrobond's unbelievably awesome collection which consists of one game. That game, my fellow droogs, is World of Warcraft. It just goes to show that quality>quantity. And with that, adios and keep it tuned to channel 3.
After last weeks amazingly awesome features, I pretty much decided there was absolutely no way in bloody hell I could top Tan. So, I do what I do best, I decided I would simply make everything about me. The game of the week just so happens to be one of my all time favorite RPGs, the screenshot of the week just so happens to be of my favorite action game of all time(hard as balls too), the featured hardware is of a controller that is so unGodly uncomfortable I have blisters on my thumb from using the damn thing's d-pad while destroying all who oppose me in Capcom vs. SNK 2 EO. The featured collection is that of a user whom I've never talked to but have dreamt of having his username as my own, also his collection is nice and organized which I could only wish mine was like that.
So...Yay this week is about stuff relevant to me. Booyakasha to all those who disagree with the way I choose to do things around here. Actually, PM me because I'm running low on themes for the week <_<.
Anyway, the featured game is Shadow Hearts Covenant, and outstanding RPG from, gasp, Midway. The featured Screenshot is of Devil May Cry 3, which, if you have played the game, will make you cringe. The featured hardware is that of Nintendo's Wavebird, a fairly cool wireless controller. Finally the featured collection is that of Rajaat the Warbringer. Lots of NES games, nice cabinet, really organized. Damn I wish I could claim to be that organized.
Well there you have it. Sorry it isn't as outstanding as Tan's features. You only have to deal with this for a week my good chum.
Yup. April Fools day is going to continue a bit longer as we focus on toddler stuff this week. This may or may not be fun. The featured game is Fisher Price's I can Remember, a game which I can proudly say I own. The featured image is that of Sesame Street ABC/123 which is yet another game I own. The featured collection is that of Cobra Blade, congrats on being nominated and do not take offense to having the featured collection. I simply made the connection between Cobra and G.I. Joe. Finally the featured hardware is the purple Nintendo Gamecube because...
1. Kids like purple.
2. Nintendo is kiddy.
3. Nintendo is kiddy.
April Fools. Anyway, keep it tuned to channel 3.
After a long hiatus, the RFGeneration features are finally updated. My apologies about that. Kicking off this week we have a theme centered around a genre of games which seems to be unknown to the RFGeneration community. I am talking about the sports genre.
The featured game this time around is WWF Wrestlemania Challenge which I firmly believe is the wrestling counterpart to Tecmo Super Bowl. Our featured image is that of Ken Griffey Jr.'s Winning Run which at the time had some of the most gorgeous graphics. The featured hardware is the classic Sega Genesis controller which is one of the most comfortable controllers ever made. Finally, our featured collection is the collection of Rabusma, a user whom has multiple versions of many systems.
So there you have it. Hopefully with the addition of sports week RFGeneration can become a bit more diversified. As always, keep it tuned to Channel 3.
Well everyone, here it is, the week we have all been waiting for. Yes, it is the week where Shimra presents another halfway thought out article and declares an even more poorly thought out week. Yes everyone, it is the week you have all been waiting for, it is of course Super Quirky Handheld Games Week.
Now that you have let the awesomeness seep in, I shall present to you the featured game of the week. It is an outstanding game where you take the role of a rookie defense attorney whom is quickly raising in the ranks. Yes I am of course talking about Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. Our featured image is of Trace Memory, a unique point and click adventure for the DS. Our featured collection would be DevIancE's. The reason being that DevIancE has tons and tons of handheld games and systems, not to mention the name DevIancE is pretty amazing.
Well there you have it. As always, keep it tuned to Channel 3, and may we never forget Michael Collins.
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