Slackur's Obscure Gaming Theatre

Posted on Feb 26th 2010 at 07:30:52 PM by (slackur)
Posted under Gamer Dad, Rated M, Kids, Retail

I wrote recently that I've been playing my iPhone n lieu of consoles lately, and while the quality of a few addictive titles are partially to blame, that's not the entire story.

I have three kids, and the oldest is three.  For the first two years of his life, I wasn't really worried about playing games around him; I usually only play for a few hours during the week, and he hardly paid it any attention anyway.

But that changed around the time our LAN group got into Borderlands.  He would occasionally watch us play, and while the game is certainly violent, the cartoon-esque cell shading art style and goofiness (money springing out of bodies, overblown physics, nutty characters) lend a certain Tom and Jerry Saturday morning cartoon aspect that I thought was probably harmless.

One day while pumping a skag full of SMG rounds, little Zachary looked visibly upset and began shouting, "Ow, kitty!  Ow, kitty!" over and over.  I paused and looked at him, all serious and staring at the screen, and knew my M-Rated gaming before bedtime was over.  If my little guy can empathize with a scraggly vertical-mouthed cartoon hyena critter with red ovals for eyes, I wasn't going to risk how he'd take anything vaguely human-like.
My already limited game time would have to take a backseat to responsible parenting.

Even now, despite not having any handgun type toys, he still builds them out of Lego blocks and audibly pretends to shoot his younger brothers, me and Amy, the TV, the snowblower, and various Thomas the Tank Engines.  Usually in the face.  Or engine, in Thomas' case.

I've worked in video game retail for nearly a decade, and there is a scenario that always sickens me:

*me staring at five year old, then up to mother*
"Ma'am, we have to inform you that this game is M rated for-"
*I look at ESRB label on the back of the box*
"-Extreme violence, blood and gore, graphic sexual content, nudity, dismemberment, constant swearing, nun beating, pornography, and the ability to intentionally set your physical game console on fire internally."
*mother gets a frown on her face for a fraction of a sentence*
"Really?"
*mother then looks down at little wide-eyed Timmy,*
"Oh well, he plays it at his friends' house anyway, we'll take it."

Perhaps it bothers me even more when, due to store policy mind you, I mention the ESRB rating and the parents wave me off before finishing or even get annoyed at me for saying anything.

Now I'm not saying I'm a better parent that anyone, just that a parent should be the one held responsible for the diet of media their children consume.  I do wonder how many five year-olds are playing Heavy Rain, Gears of War, Grand Theft Auto IV, and God of War because the parents are clueless.  Do I have the right to tell them what their kids can play?  No.  I can disagree, and that's where my parenting for my own kids comes in.  But how many kids get free passes because of absurd reasons like, 'he'll see it at a friend's house,' or 'he'll see it on the news one day anyway.' ?  In my opinion, that's saying 'I let the moral standards of other people dictate what my child is exposed to and learns from.'

And it is their right, of course, and I'm not arguing that.  But it does bug me.  Which is my right too.

Do violent games cause violent acts?  That's another topic entirely, and beyond the scope and point of this little entry.

So when can Zachary play Halo?  Well, I'm not sticking to an arbitrary age.  I know the psychological generalizations of what ages are typically acceptable, but I prefer to observe my own kids and trust them when I think they are ready.  Maybe it will be at seven or eight.  Maybe twelve.  Fifteen.  Maybe he'll have a terrible habit of decapitating Lego men in the Sega CD 2 tray, and I'll just wait till he's out of my house.  But I think it's my responsibility to pay attention and make that determination.  And based on his current habits of pistol-whipping his two year-old brother with a stuffed Pikachu, I think he has a few more years to go before Call of Duty.

So sorry Bioshock 2, AVP, Dante's Inferno, Modern Warfare 2, Dead Space Extraction, and Left for Dead 2.  You'll have to wait until after 9:30 P.M., at least for now.  I knew what I was getting into when I said, "wait, THAT's how we get kids?!"

And I wouldn't trade 'em for anything.  Even the ability to finally finish my 5000+ backlog.





                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
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