The AbyssThe Abyss

Posted on Aug 29th 2013 at 06:09:37 PM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Nintendo, 2DS, 3DS, Ripoff

Hello all. It's been a while. Some of you may not even know me. Let me reintroduce myself. I am David Murnan, and was the former Site Director. Much of what you see is my creation. Ah, memories, but that's not why I am back. No, I am back because I called it. I freaking called it.

In 2011, RF Generation decided for a day that it would be the in extra special 2D. We went so far to announce the Nintendo 2DS over two years early!

There it is, our concept, created none other than by our resident graphic artist den68. So imagine my surprise yesterday when Nintendo Officially announced the Nintendo 2DS. Deja vu, anyone? I mean, we called it in 2011. 3D was just so ahead of its time. Too, out there. Too, headachy. Either way, it appears as though someone at Nintendo saw our mock up and decided to create their own, final version.

The thing is, after Nintendo officially announced the 2DS, the internet sort of went apeshit. Some people, including major gaming blogs, noticed our concept, and well, we are flattered. Did Nintendo rip us off? Nah, I simply think they took our concept to the next level, and I thank them for doing that.  Thank you internet for also taking interest in den68's concept design. You all truly are the best.

We have since come to our senses and realized that 3D is perfectly okay. But, again, it's nice to see that people are taking notice of our day in extra special 2D.

Keep it on channel 3!

Posted on Jan 22nd 2009 at 03:06:40 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Cynical Gamer, Feature, Uh, Luc, Nintendo, Economics

God, it's been a while. Have you missed my Cynical Nature? My friends would tell you that I can be quite the Cynical Bastard, but in recent history I've moved to a new state and my Cynical Nature has been placed on the back burner as real issues consume my life. Life is good and all, and while I've been furloughed for four days I still have a job and that's fantastic.

Lucky for those of you that enjoy my Cynical Nature, I am writing this article. I mean there's plenty of things to be cynical about if you're American. For the sake of this article I'll keep it to limited to gaming. Let's jump into a few of those topics, after all it's been a while and some things have certainly happened.

Continue reading The Cynical Gamer #11: Uh?

Posted on Nov 20th 2008 at 02:04:25 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Nintendo, Wii, Birthday

Two years, has it been that long? I guess it has been. Two years ago today the Wii was released worldwide, because Nintendo loves youÖ or so we thought. What has the last two years brought Nintendo and itís Wii? Letís delve into the past, and see where the future lies for Nintendo.

Nintendo had a cool concept. Motion control in a game, would it be a gimmick or a novel innovation? Well, two years has passed, and honestly, the verdict is still out. There are the games that just tack it on, such as Super Monkey Ball did. Did they even play test their game? Super Monkey Ball should have been great on the Wii. Alas, it was not. Fortunately, there have been games that do make excellent use of the Wii Remote, and these games shine amongst the games that treat motion control like an afterthought. Games like No More Heroes, De Blob, Zack and Wiki, and Metroid Prime 3: Corruption all make excellent use of the Wii Remote. Super Mario Galaxy was a refreshing reinvention of the platform genre. Truly there are the gems in what seems more and more like an endless pile of crap, and my, there is crap.

Why is there crap? Well, it might be because the Wii sells like hotcakes from McDonalds. It sold almost 850,000 units in North America alone last month, and quite frankly thatís impressive. Itís enough to make the Wii the clear market leader, and weíll talk about that later. But now, letís talk about the effects of being the market leader. See, being number one tends to bring a lot of crap to your console. Games like Target: Terror. What is that game like? Well, you know what Lethal Enforcers is, right? Well, it looks just like that, except with Terrorists. How novel for the Wii, especially when it could probably run on an N64. Great job there, Konami, you really must have been bitter after the sales of Elebits and Dewyís Adventure. I bought Elebits! Donít hate me! And donít think that itís just the third parties giving us steaming piles of shit. I see that the fourth worst ranked Wii game on Gamerankings is Donkey Kong: Barrel Blast. Now, I am sure that game is full of win, but the score speaks for the masses. And donít forget about Wii Music! Is that even a game? You decide.

If you would have told me with a straight face that the Wii would be far and beyond the market leader right now prior to its launch I would have laughed. I was a Nintendo fanboy at one point, but just because I was a fanboy does not mean that I am not a realist. Címon, Nintendo had a good idea, but was there really something as a casual gamer? I sure as hell didnít think so. I guess I was wrong, because as they sayÖ it prints money. Unfortunately, it only prints money really for Nintendo. See, the Wii third party tie-in ratio is rather poor. It seems as though the real winner in all this is Nintendo and the companies that realize shovelware. Itís sort of sad because it limits creativity. Why be creative when you can make money with a low budget piece of crap? Itís sad, and itís true.

Well, the future, what does it hold? Being on top means that Nintendo has the most to lose. Itís quite obvious that Nintendo cares most about the casual gamer these days, and it hurts. Nintendo really, really needs to either invest in games for gamers or encourage third parties to innovate rather than defecate. Maybe it could, you know, do both? Who knows, really? I certainly hope they do, because to a certain extent Nintendo has really tried to see what the breaking point of their fanboys is. Maybe to them thatís okay, but they have to realize that you can have your hardcore faithful in addition to being super trendy. Apple does it, somehow. Isnít that who Nintendo is trying to emulate anyways? Does that mean that weíll soon see a super thin Iwata in jeans and a black shirt with a goatee? God I hope so. The truth is though that Nintendo needs to know that some of Nintendoís biggest fans are becoming some very bitter people, and bitter people can bring some very negative press. Best then to keep the fans happy, I suppose. Might you start with localizing Captain Rainbow and Mother 3? Please? PLEASE?

Nintendoís console will probably have a bright future. I know I am personally as giddy as a schoolgirl for No More Heroes: Desperate Struggle and Mad World. I guess you could say Iíve become a person to enjoy violence more as Iíve gotten older. I also know that in the future Iíll probably own a PS3 to satisfy other needs. But donít you worry Nintendo, because youíve already made more than enough money off of me, and chances are youíll make more than enough money off of others. Congrats on that.

Well, what do you think? Where has Nintendo been over the last two years for you? Where will they be in the future? I know where I think theyíll be, but itís always more interesting to find out where you guys think the future lies, so tell us, wonít you?

Posted on Oct 11th 2008 at 12:45:38 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft

For those of you who sort of follow gaming news, however few of you there are, probably have been following the Tokyo Game Show, which is probably the biggest show there is for gaming now that E3 is dead. Long Live E3. So, there are a lot of bombshells and great announcements to come from TGS, and if you want to know what they are I suggest you look at a website that blogs about games. Might I recommend Kotaku. See, I am not here to report all the crap that was announced at TGS. Rather, I want to start a discussion as to the things that excited us. Well, now that I got this out of the way way, let me begin.

Continue reading TGS is going on, what excites you?

Posted on Sep 17th 2008 at 09:49:04 PM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Nintendo, YAWWWN, Who Cares, Press Conference

Well look at that, Nintendo isn't going to the Tokyo Game Show, but it turns out they are going to have a press conference of their own. This conference is going to be on October 2, which is actually before the start of TGS. What are they going to announce and talk about? Who the hell knows! Nintendo certainly does not, as confirmed by Edge. Well, that's just peachy. Chances are that it's a malicious lie, and they know exactly what they are going to be talking about, but they just don't want you to know. It's okay, we know how you feel, and so does Jean Luc Picard.

Who the hell cares? Nintendo clearly doesn't care about you much, so why should you care about them? After the riveting hardcore gamer announcement of Animal Crossing: City Folk, I have little excitement in what Nintendo is to announce. But, if this was a Sega Announcement regarding upcoming titles from Platinum Games, then, hell yes I'd be interested. I think the only thing that would remotely interest me would be an announcement that Captain Rainbow was being released in the US. The impact on Nintendo's image would be as beneficial to them as the Lehman Brother's Bankruptcy was to the Dow Jones. Certainly, it would be amazing.

So, do you care that Nintendo has a press conference in 2 weeks? Should you care? I don't think so, and I wholly expect Nintendo to announce some "casual gamer" nongames that will not interest me. Perhaps they'll interest you.

Posted on Aug 9th 2008 at 04:10:03 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Cynical Gamer, Feature, Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, Modern Gaming

Imitation is said to be the sincerest form of flattery, well, thatís at least what they say. To me imitation could be a good thing, or, in a market where being unique can lead to being hugely popular and subsequent huge profit margins, a very bad thing. Look for example at Apple. No one is really like Apple in what they do and what they offer. Apple is the trendy tech company, and pending the outcome of a lawsuit, they either will be comfortably the trendy tech company for years to come, or they could see their profit margins erode as the Mac OS is opened up to other hardware manufacturers. Certainly could throw a wrench into things, thatís for sure.

So, what does this talk have to do with gaming? What? Are you serious? Imitation in the gaming realm is making me want to throw up, and I hope youíre as dazed about this imitation as I am.

Continue reading Cynical Gamer #8: Imitation

Posted on Jul 24th 2008 at 06:27:32 PM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Skip, Nintendo, Wii, Gamecube, GiFTPiA, Captain Rainbow

There is this rather quirky Japanese developer that goes by the name, Skip, Ltd. Stateside, you might know them as the developer of the Chibi Robo series. If you follow the Japanese scene also, you may know a bit more about them. In fact, most of their games have been released only in Japan. It's a real damn shame. You know, they developed many of the Bit Generations Games. These small, quirky games are sort of like the Wii Sports and Wii Play for the Game Boy Advance, but cooler. Way cooler. Of course, such is to be expected from the former Square employees, people who may have worked on one of the Best Games Ever, Chrono Trigger.

So, Skip really hasn't seen many releases Stateside aside from Chibi Robo, and it's a shame, a real damn shame. We've not only missed out on the Bit Generations series, but also other interesting and quirky games like GiFTPiA, a GameCube Game where you as the main character have to earn back your honor. It's a real interesting, and unique, game. Sadly, it's Japan only, and that pains me.

Skip has a new project, and I imagine that if you follow the gaming blogs at all you probably know what it is. The title is called Captain Rainbow, and aside from looking like a homoerotic fantasy, it looks pretty damn amazing. You play as a super hero, Captain Rainbow, who does all types of heroics on an island filled with washed up Nintendo Characters. The concept is absolutely genius, and given the track record, I bet it doesn't come out here. Very, very sad.

Check out the videos, after the jump.

Continue reading Why does NOA do this to US?

Posted on Jul 24th 2008 at 03:35:18 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Nintendo, Wii, Geeks and Otaku, OH NOOOO!

I remember a time and place when people who were asking for more storage space for the Wii were "geeks and otaku". I remember being very displeased by this statement of arrogance, and may have callled someone an ass. Whoops. Turns out that while in Europe people asking for more storage are "geeks and otaku," a different tune is being spun stateside.

Apparently, Reggie has a different story about the plight of the Wii Gamer, that, or he and Laurent are on totally different pages. See, Reggie says that while they have nothing to announce now, they are in fact working on a storage solution of some sort, and are aware of the situation. Huh. You don't say, Reggie? Furthermore, Reggie acknowledges that the problem extends far beyond "geeks and otaku":

From an Americas-centric perspective, here is the reality we see. We have a consumer base who loves virtual console. We have a userbase who really is enjoying WiiWare content. So for us really our challenge really is how do we satisfy all these consumers who are loving all of the product we make available on a download basis? As we continue to have things, as you point out, like ĎMario Kartí that has its own channel when youíre playing from an Internet perspective, weíre just making this challenge tougher and tougher. So in our view this is becoming much more of a mainstream problem, which is why we have a sense of urgency to solve it.

So, the storage problem is a problem? OH NOOOO! What are we going to do? Nothing has been announced, and there are games with DLC coming out soon. I need my Samba DLC! Please Reggie save us!

Seriously, though, this issue is sort of laughable. Let us actually use the SD cards we actually bought. Lots of storage there. Oh that's right, you're afraid of piracy, Nintendo. Perhaps you could code encryption? The truth is that holding out forever won't solve the problem, and the casual gamer isn't going to want to spend a crapload of money to fix the storage issue. So, for your sake, I hope you can find a marketable solution, and find it quick.

Nintendo: Wii Storage Limitations Becoming A ĎMainstream Problemí [MTV Multiplayer]

Posted on Jul 22nd 2008 at 02:38:16 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Nintendo, Cammie Dunaway, Meh

Cammie Dunaway apparently is a scapegoat for Nintendo's press conference. I honestly wouldn't know, because I spent the last week in Destin, Florida, burning my skin on the beach while occasionally going into the seaweed infested ocean. Good times indeed. But! I did get to watch two of the three press conferences, and one of those conferences happened to be Nintendo. As someone who was looking to be wowed by Nintendo with announcements for the "core gamer", I was underwhelmed. Did you know Animal Crossing was for core gamers? Seriously? Ha. Might has well throw in the meh fest known as Wii Music in there as well. Why get Wii Music when you can get Guitar Hero World Tour?

Anyways, Nintendo's conference was underwhelming, and some of you apparently have been hateful towards Cammie Dunaway, saying that she is a fake. Well, to be honest, she did seem a bit fake at the conference. Fake smiles and actions, she did in fact seem staged, unlike "Kicking ass and taking names" Reggie Fils-Aime. So, some of you have been berating her, sort of like I just did, and she has some news for you.

Turns out, she's for real. At least, that's what she told Wired. She is apparently a generally nice person, with genuinely nice smiles. Do you believe that? After watching her presentation, I call bullshit, but she claims otherwise. Do you give her the benefit of the doubt?

Nintendo's Cammie Dunaway: I'm Not Faking It [Wired]

Posted on Jul 10th 2008 at 04:12:47 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Cynical Gamer, Feature, Nintendo, Wii, Crap

As you may or may not know, I tend to be skewed towards the world of Nintendo. I grew up on Nintendo, I supported Nintendo up to the Wii, and once the Wii was released Nintendo decided to defecate on every member of the Nintendo old guard and try to appeal to that elusive casual gamer. Theyíre doing a great job, they really are. Meanwhile, I really, really want LittleBigPlanet, and well, we all know what system that is on. But yes! The Nintendo Connection! You see, the Wii has the dubious distinction of being home to more crap than one can shake a finger at. Strike that, one hundred billion fingers. The more depressing thing is that people are buying this stuff. Itís really, really disappointing, and Iíll tell you why.

Continue reading The Cynical Gamer #7: Crap

Posted on Jun 14th 2008 at 09:02:13 PM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Cynical Gamer, Feature, Nintendo, Geeks, Otaku, Wii

You know, I happen to live in Cincinnati. Itís sort of an advertising / marketing Mecca. Thatís bound to happen when Procter and Gamble happens to be based in your city. You know, Ivory Soap, Tide, Pringles, Gillette, Old Spice, Febreeze, etcÖ that company. Not to mention all of their recent divestures, we are home to the company who spends lots of money on their brands. In fact, they spend the most money of any company. So, certainly, we in Cincinnati have a company who knows how to do things right. God bless P&G. They make Cincinnati proud.

Some companies try very hard to be good at advertising. They try very hard to project an image. Theyíre so good that they do so at the expense of royally ticking off their old fan base. Nintendo seems to be that brand. Itís sad though, as they try to be just like Apple, but thatís hard when you have people like Laurent Fischer.

Continue reading The Cynical Gamer #6: Laurent Fischer

Posted on May 31st 2008 at 07:22:53 PM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Cynical Gamer, Feature, Nintendo, 512MB

So, believe it or not, but I am actually a gamer. I know, wow! The cynical gamer is a gamer! It may frighten you to know then that I do not own a 360 or PS3. Rather, I own that technologically inferior Wii. I used to think that was a bad deal, but then I realized that when I do play the system I am absolutely enthralled. Whoíd a thunk it? Thanks, Okami! (and NMH, Super Mario Galaxy, Super Paper Mario, Metroid Corruption, and Twilight Princess). Truly, in the mounds of shovel ware, there are some winners.

WiiWare Ė how I am excited for this downloadable medium. Games like Eternityís Child and World of Goo, in addition to Strongbadís Game for Cool and Attractive People, certainly have my interest. On launch day (well, the day after actually), I decided to by Lost Winds. It was a gamble for me, for it was developed by Frontier. Ugh. They developed RollerCoaster Tycoon 3, and that game crushed by top of the line laptop. (at least it was 4 years ago) So, I had low, and at the same time high expectations for the game. Turns out that the game is pretty darn good, but then, I noticed something, and it made me rather unhappy.

On the download screen, Lost Winds takes up about 250 blocks on the Wii. It was then I saw how much space I had left on my internal memory, about 500 blocks. Ouch. I guess I can download one or two more games before Nintendo, in their infinite wisdom, decides that I should start deleting things in order to obtain newer releases. I only have a few Virtual Console games on my Wii, and Lost Winds, so, this development has my head scratching.

What the hell, Nintendo? Do you really want to stifle people from spending money on your wares? Do you really wish to not utilize the SD card slot or USB for additional storage? Do you really think 512MB of internal memory is enough? If you did, then you certainly must have a clearer idea of what people like me want. I guess that I donít actually know what I want. But, thankfully, you do, and youíre limiting me to 512MB of downloads. Bravo, Nintendo! Bravo!

So, Nintendo, is your head so far up your ass that you canít see that people are willing to spend money to populate more than 512MB worth of space? Do you really think that everyone is going to only by NES games to populate the Wii Channel list that is horizontally expansive? Do you think people are going to want to constantly delete and re-add games whenever they want to play something? I sure hope not.

512MB is a miniscule chunk of space to bestow on a console with downloadable content. Perhaps itís time for a larger storage solution for the Wii. Certainly, we gamers hope that Nintendo is doing what is necessary to afford us more space. Until that time, we gamers will continue to be frustrated by the prospect that weíll have to delete something to add something new. On a console that tries to reach out to the elusive ďcasual gamerĒ, ease of operation should be paramount. Itís clear though that the ease of dealing with downloadable content is not. Itís time for that to change.

Posted on May 13th 2008 at 08:12:00 PM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Platinum Games, Mad World, Clover, Nintendo, Wii

Nintendo seems to be creating a niche market for ultra violent games, or at least games more violent than would have been seen on the GameCube. No More Heroes was amazing, and if you haven't played it you should check it out. Blueberry Cheese Brownie, anyone? What about Manhunt 2? Sure, it's (apparent) crap, but it's still super violent. Other violent games? Well, I can't think of any, except for one more that was just announced.

Turns out Platinum Games has a Wii title coming out called Mad World. Platinum Games, does that ring a bell to anyone? No? How about Clover Studios? In the mighty progression of development houses, it goes Clover -> Seeds -> Platinum Games. So, Platinum Games essentially created amazing games like Okami and Viewtiful Joe. I hope that you've played those games, especially Okami. Okami is everything that Zelda should have been. Too bad the Wii version of Okami doesn't make any references to the original developers, since one should always give credit where it is due, and well, Clover Studios created a masterpiece.

So, yes, I digress. There is a new game coming out from Platinum Games fort the Wii. It's called Mad World. Styled much like Sin City. It looks beautiful, and very violent. I urge you to do yourself a favor and check the game, after the jump. Be Warned, it's very violent.

Continue reading Nintendo now has a Niche Market for ultra violent Games: UPDATE

Posted on Mar 31st 2008 at 12:02:43 AM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Nintendo

Nintendo. They like making money. They could make so much more money if they had a viable online system. Microtransactions also print money, so it boggles my mind that Nintendo has opted for the castrated Online Plan.  To Nintendo, it's better to assume that everyone is 6 than their actual age, and for that reason most people would call the system... subpar. Not exactly a fun experience to play online, especially if you want to try to hook up with your friends.

Slate decided, in its infinite wisdom, that it needed to tell the world that Nintendo's Online Plan is in fact, "a smashing failure." So, yeah, good job there Slate, where have you been for the last 3 years. I could have said that back when the DS was going online. Friend Codes are in fact, absolute rubbish. Poorly executed Smash Bros. with anyone online games is in fact,  absolute rubbish. Tantalizing Wii owners with the prospect of only one Wii Friend Code only to find out that every damn game still has its own way of doing online, is rubbish.

So, where have you been, Slate? I conject that you must have been really far away not to realize this cold reality years ago. How was the stay on the third rock from Alpha Centari, Slate, because clearly for the last few years you were nowhere near Earth.

Oh, you say that you were? Perhaps then you just are late to the obvious, or you're just out of touch with gaming in general. The only reason I've heard of you is because Kotaku mentions you. Perhaps you should just... um... keep quiet about games.

Smashing Failure [Slate, via Kotaku]

Posted on Mar 27th 2008 at 07:32:01 PM by (TraderJake)
Posted under Modern Gaming, Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, PS3, Wii, Xbox

Some of you may be die hard haters of other game consoles besides the ones that you own. For others, you might be such a fanboy that you need be reminded of reasons why you should curb your enthusiasm. Fortunately for you, Gamesradar wishes to fan the flames of console bashing during its hate week, where they harp about why you should hate everything. Thank God for that too, because I certainly could not think of my own reasons to be spiteful about the console manufacturers.

Shall we check out these videos? Because I am a nice guy, I'll start out with the company I tend to support heavily (aside from my latest Cynical Gamer piece), Nintendo. You can find Sony and Microsoft after the Jump.


Continue reading 100 Reasons to Hate Each of the Console Manufacturers

This is TraderJake's Blog.
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This is where my thoughts go and are never heard from again.

Well, maybe not, but this is the repository for all of my published thoughts and rantings. It'll make my day if you find at least 10% of it amusing and enjoyable to read.

Sorry for the other 90%.

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