For all you Halo fans out there...

[CatchFiveBats]

I've got a buddy (he doesn't post here, but he has a long dead account) who posted this in his blog/journal/whatever space on Gamespot.  Enjoy...

I didn't want to do this, but it has to be done. I can't live around these brainwashed morons any longer without letting some of this out. I would much rather talk about the incredible masterpieces that are the Metal Gear Solid games, but i have already done plenty of that with a few of my friends upon beating MGS 3. Probably around 15 hours total we've talked about those games, presented questions about the future, reveled in Hideo Kojima's brilliance in being one of the few truly leading this industry into its true potential as ligitimate media, art, literature, and philosophy all in one. But it would be too long for a stupid journal post which no one reads anyway, so I think I'll talk about why the "godly" game of Halo is actually one of, if not the, dullest, most useless, idiotic, mindless, overrated, boring, anti-innovative, stupid pieces of trash this industry has dared put forth and taint itself by calling it a "video game", and that many unthinking bodies of the masses have dared to call the 'greatest game of all time.'

Halo 1. Let's take a look-see. Steal all of the simple, small additions that many a first-person shooter before have humbly integrated into their own games, put them all together into a storyline that's been done before hundreds of times before, create the shallowest, most boring video game character in ages as the main character, and smush it all together with a PC shooter control scheme for a console controller and launch it as the xbox launch title. How this sold, i have no idea. EGM was right when they said that the xbox would've tanked faster than the 3DO if Halo wasn't released at the start of the gargantuan system.

GAMEPLAY: If "intense action" truly describes this game, then leaning back in a recliner really slow must be like living out the best parts of Indiana Jones (I think I set that ratio up right...). I think it's soooooo boring because there are a total of five different enemies throughout the entire game. Grunt, Jackel, Elite, Hunter, Flood. You may get a little excited the very first time you meet one of the five enemy's in this game, but after you figure out how to beat them the first time, you just repeat the same tactics everytime you run into that enemy again throughout the rest of the game. "But there's different types of those enemies to deal with!" you may say, but what you would be referring to is the different colors of enemies. They change colors, and they get more health - that means they just take more shots to kill. That's the only difference. There's no bosses, so don't even worrying about having to think on your feet when encountered with a unexcpected obstacle to overcome. I was having a conversation with my friend on the phone while playing on heroic on the last two or three levels, and I was having no problem beating each of them. There was no thinking involved - my eyes saw one of the enemies, and my fingers already knew exactly what to do to beat them, so I just did it. No break in conversation, no exersion of the logic side of your brain. You go into a mission, and you already know exactly what you're going to be doing the entire rest of the mission - fighting the five enemies. WOAH SURSPRISE there may be multiple enemies to deal with, or maybe even a combination of fighting various types of the five AT THE SAME TIME. But nope, you're Master Chief, so just wax on wax off over and over again throughout the entire level until you see a loading screen for the next level. "I can't wait until I see what happens in this one!" HA.

GRAPHICS: The level designs are boring and repetitive (That means they look the same - and don't even get me started on The Library). The cut-scenes lack any sense of cinematic flair - they all involve basic angled shots of ships, Master Chief, or Cortana. The cut-scenes were even more boring than the gameplay (I'm sure a few of you agree with me, because CUTSCENES EQUAL ME NO KILLY MAKE BLOOD SHOOT AT BADGUY THINGS). I never felt at the edge of my seat when something important happened during a cutscene, mostly because the audio sucks alot during them. So I could hardly hear what they were saying over that damned theme-song in the background, and the visuals weren't in any way making up for the lack of audio. Also I guess the graphics during the game would be good if it's a near Mission: Impossible for a video game developer to make six to seven enemy designs (I say that number becuse the Flood had THREE types of designs. OOOHHH), four vehicles, three basic human designs, and interior environment, and an outside one. Judging from other games that came out before it, I'd say not.

[CatchFiveBats]

STORY: Jesus. I just read the interview with Bungie in the lastest EGM after they made Halo 2, and many times they refer to themselves having to spread these games out over many installments because "of the grand story they have to tell." I haven't seen anything grand yet. Halo's story is as predictable and linear as a porno - you know what's going to happen throughout each of them. I was "sursprised?" when the Covenent actually were trying to fight the Flood instead of use them. The only surprise that came out of that was the fact that Bungie would try to use that story that's been done so many times before in anime's, Orsen Scott Card novels, and many Star Wars novels to drive this "masterpiece." But from the gameplay, it didn't seem that way, because the Coventent still attacked me before they dealt with the Flood. You knew by the third level that you were eventually going to be blowing up Halo, and it carried right on through with that. Also, the Master Chief is so boring and predictable. He is confronted with an obstacle, he blows it up. He sees his comrade, his captain, mutated by the Flood (which you saw coming a mile away - woah plot twist! don't make me laugh) and he smashes his face in. He needs to blow up the ship on the last level, and the first thing he thinks of is using big explodey-grenades. Everyone else on his team will die, and he comes up with the plan to get rid of the place without a second thought. I've found out talking to people, that when you think of a character, you end up talking about their motivations, they're desires, their faults, why they are doing what they do, and speculate on how they would handle an obstacle in their life. When you think of Snake from MGS, you talk about why he is still going through this, how his past has affected him, his deep relationships with those he's worked with on missions, why he questions being a soldier and a patriot and killing for the mission, and you can speculate on what the future hold in store for him based on his past. You think of Master Chief - and you're instantly thinking of the character model. That's it. Nothing else. You know what he will do, he will always carry out the mission and do what he's told without any question. That involves killing whatever the mission tells him to. But basically just the character model. Just the outside. That...is...so...boring....and shallow. He sucks as a character, so people rejoice in him by remembering him for his character model. Ask any hardcore Halo fan. Trust me.

MUSIC: Congratulations, Bungie. You came up with a theme. Be sure to USE IT AT ANY TIME POSSIBLE AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO THE POINT WHERE IT'S ANNOYING. (Also, make sure you use it alot in Halo 2, but make it more hardcore by making an electric guitar play it over and over again.) If you get bored with that theme, don't come up with any other ones, just use cliched, quiet, string and orchestral accomponied ambiance to create tension that isn't really there. Then release a soundtrack and sell it to the morons. They'll think its all different. Oh? You've already done this. Good work. Keep it up Bungie.

ENEMY/ALLY A.I.: Since everyone was nutting themselves over this part of the game, I decided to make it a section. The enemy's A.I. was basic. If you are not close to them, they dodge back and forth (sometimes that leads them behind cover) and shoot at you. If you are close, they close range attack you (except for Grunts and Jackels, they just run when you get close.) The ally A.I. was basic as well. Shoot at enemies. If they get close, back up and shoot. If Master Chief gets into a vehicle, and there is an open spot on it, get into it until the spots are full. Not hard stuff here people.

TOTAL SCORE: 0/10. I almost gave it a one out of ten for the build up to actually seeing the Flood, but they completely ruined the suspense that they were building up during that whole first part of the level. It was like, what's going on? Then it was like, oh, they were just trying to bring in a new enemy later than the rest of them. And there they are, it's the Flood - they crawl toward you, instead of walk in groups. Wait, yeah, they do walk in groups, but I kill them the same as the Covenent. That was bad Bungie. And I give Halo 2 a -5/10 becuase after playing it for an hour, hoping that Bungie might redeem themselves, I just got sick of it cause it was the same thing. And then I read the article in EGM, and Bungie said that they were going to change alot of things, but decided against it because they wouldn't want to lose sales. They would rather just put out another version of Halo so they could get filthy fucking rich all over again. I'm paraphrasing, but check out that EGM article or 1UP.com to see what I mean, and how I'm not too far off. Congratulations Bungie. You have killed the chance for any up-and-coming U.S. development studios and production teams to even compete and get their own pieces of work out into the public. You've shaped the industry into casual gamers as the overwhelming majority, and now they dictate what sells and what doesn't. Games for gamers can't appeal to just gamers anymore, because they won't sell, unless they have a big production team behind them that support the choice to make games that don't appeal to everyone - like Nintendo, , or Namco, or Capcom, or Konami, or SquareEnix. Anyone else will go unnoticed. Fuck you Bungie.

[captain_nintendo]

 


Right.....................

OK , I know there are alot of Halo fanboys out there and alot of "haters" out there , but ths takes the cake.

0 out of 10 ?   Whatever  

[Sureshot]

I think Halo sucks, as I ranted about in a previous post.

[TraderJake]

That's some serious Halo hating.

For the opposite side of the spectrum and for some true Halo loving, be sure to read Deathknight69's review of Halo 2.

http://composite.rfgenera...l?ID=U-075-S-01390-A&

[Izret101]

lol

Personally i like the game but i have also gtrown tired of it.
I wouldn't have ever given it a 10 but i see no way possible it could get a 0 either.

People are stupid.

[Tynstar]

I like the bith Halo's. I like the story better in Halo 2 but the game play better in Halo 1. The levels are just too long in Halo 2.

Is it the greastest game ever? Hell no! Was it marketed great? Yes! Does it have good controls for a console FPS? Yes.

Is MGS the greatest series of all time? No.

Let me guess your friend hates Microsoft?

[nupoile]

I don't know what to say, 0 out of 10? Thats ridiculous. Even if you don't care for the game at all, giving it a zero is quite a discredit to a persons critiquing skills. I have played the first Halo alot, I meen ALOT. I won't go into the whole "fanboy" thing but come on, the game looked decient, wasn't buggy and the controls were really good for a console game. You would think that would be worth something.

But what are you going to do?

[CatchFiveBats]

Yeah, my friend totally hates Microsoft, and although I don't exactly think it deserves a 0 out of 10, I believe that he makes a good point.  I'm pretty sure that the main reason he gave it that score was because by the the end of writing the article, he was so pissed off that he just gave it the lowest score he possibly could just to spite all the fanboys out there.  The main reason I posted the article wasn't because of the score he gave it, but because of what he says about the game's impact on the industry.  As to what will actually happen, only time will tell.

- CFB

[captain_nintendo]

Yeah, my friend totally hates Microsoft - CFB

Lordy , lord....Microsoft is totally evil and never puts out anything good. (seriously , thats what it sounds like)

 The main reason I posted the article wasn't because of the score he gave it, but because of what he says about the game's impact on the industry.  As to what will actually happen, only time will tell.

- CFB

Industry ? Just sounded like Halo / Bungie / Microsoft bashing to me    On a 1 - 10 scale , what would any of you give Halo 2 ?

I honestly would give it an 8 , pushing a 9.
Graphics are great
Gameplay / control is superb
Story is pretty good


So Bungie made a game that makes money and they know how to "pimp" thier product to do so..... Oh no , I hate them   Seriously , any game developer would do the same if they could.

Look , Doom has a movie coming out.....

Every game out there now has a music soundtrack And Bungie is given 40 lashes by your buddy for this  :-/


Dont get me wrong though , your friends little article was a funny read though  The writing was good....  


Hell , I dont think I could write something that long anymore

[Tynstar]

Your friend did make some good points in your first post. I didnt actually read he review becuase I thought your friend was a dumb ass after the first post.

Like I said it isnt the greatest game of all time but a 0-10 just makes you look dumb.

[Vladimir]

Andy is my hero.

[phoenix1967]

He also neglects to mention anything regarding multiplayer apects of both games, which is where a lot of the fun is!

[CatchFiveBats]

Andy is my hero.

Mine too.  And the person who posted this (Andy) hates Halo for the same reason Vlad and I do.  It's ruining everything we love about the gaming industry.  The only reason gamers like us still have games that we like to play is because of firmly rooted companies like Nintendo, Konami, Capcom, etc.   Any new, up-and-coming companies with great ideas that are trying to change the industry for the better won't be able to because of the monster games and companies that everybody and their mom is like "OMFG THIS IS THE GREATEST GAME EVER MADE I WILL NEVER BUY ANY OF THOSE OTHER CRAPPY GAMES BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT HALO."  And although I'm sure that no one on this site is like that, there are a LOT of people that are.  And the problem with the "industry giants" like Microsoft that are just trying to make money on video games as a side project (Because seriously, what's it going to hurt them if their games don't succeed?  They've got their foot in a ton of other industries that they can get rich off of.) is that, at the rate things are moving, they're going to take down all the gaming companies that are only in gaming because their sales will suck so bad.  Sega is a good example of this (The Dreamcast is an incredible system that was doing great until the release of the PS2.), and Nintendo will be too if the industry keeps moving in the direction that it is right now.

I would prefer to still be able to play the same kind of fun, innovative games on the same kind of durable, quality systems that I've been playing them on since the early 90's until the day I die, but I won't be able to if companies like Microsoft are running the game industry.

- CFB

[captain_nintendo]

He also neglects to mention anything regarding multiplayer apects of both games, which is where a lot of the fun is!

Agreed , but thats true of alot of FPS games too