RF Generation.  The Classic and Modern Gaming Databases.RF Generation.  The Classic and Modern Gaming Databases.




Posted on Nov 28th 2017 at 04:39:33 PM by (ErbBetaPatched)
Posted under XIII, PS2, Review



Finally found a way to upload another video, one that I've had completed for months. This time, it's XIII, a game based off of a comic franchise of the same name. I bought it purely because of how well it was presented, since it reminded me of Comix Zone. I actually wrote a review for it after I beat it years ago, but my opinion has changed. Its amazing presentation, graphical style, and story tricked me into thinking this was a good game. Unfortunately it is not. No amount of graphics can excuse bland gameplay.

I hope to be putting out more videos soon enough. I already have the rest of two LPs finished as well as another review in the works. Stay tuned, and remember to subscribe on Youtube and follow me on Facebook and Twitter.



Posted on Oct 1st 2017 at 12:00:00 AM by (Crabmaster2000)
Posted under Collecting Goals, NES, Turbografx, Dreamcast, Virtual Boy, SNES, Wii U, PS2, Full Set, Subsets


This could be me soon!


While I eagerly anticipate the arrival of October because of my trip down south to meet up with several rfgen members to once again attend the seminal Retro World Expo, I'm making sure I've got my wishlist in order and ready to rock. This trip gives me the opportunity to delve into the stock of dozens of stores and vendors that I'd normally never have access to while at home. My hope is to be able to find some of the more challenging games to obtain in different sets. Since completing my licensed NES and Turbografx 16 collections, I've been focusing on completing a few other full libraries. Some easier than others.....



Continue reading Travel Prepping for RWX



Posted on Sep 25th 2017 at 08:00:00 AM by (Disposed Hero)
Posted under Review, RPG, Dragon Quest, Square Enix, PS2, 3DS


Despite being a huge fan of JRPGs for most of my life, I had never played a Dragon Quest game until earlier this year, with that game being Dragon Quest V on the DS.  While I did enjoy that game, I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would based on all of the praise I had previously heard about it.  One thing that I can say about Dragon Quest V though, and I assume is true of every game in the series, is that it has a lot of charm, and that charm left me wanting to play more games in the series.  So with the recent release of an enhanced version of Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King for the Nintendo 3DS, the time seemed right to jump into my next game in the series.



Continue reading Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King



Posted on Jul 25th 2017 at 08:00:00 AM by (SirPsycho)
Posted under world building, analysis, playstation, rpg, konami, ps2


Since the beginning of role playing games, many details have been taken into account by everyone from the top tier game designers down to the dungeon or game master building their first campaign. However, few details are thought about as much as the design of the world the players inhabit. For most gamers, it is nothing more than passing scenery made to make you stop and enjoy the beauty before you move two steps forward and completely forget about it.

In modern video gaming, there are a few different kinds of world designs at play. Most Japanese developed RPGs, from the beginning to this day, are the world spanning epics. No stone is left unturned on these worlds as many are developed without the idea of direct sequels in mind. The juggernauts of Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest almost always take place in a completely new world with linearity in mind. Dragon Quest I and II are notable exceptions to this, where the world of the first game is revealed to be just one small part of the full world that is revealed to the player in Dragon Quest II. This is the idea that Suikoden takes, as it will likely never will reveal the full world in one game.


Continue reading Summer of Suikoden: A Treatise on World Design



Posted on May 16th 2017 at 08:00:00 AM by (slackur)
Posted under Collecting, Alan Wake, PS2, preservation, video games


Pic from Kotaku and about a million bookmarks

Approximately a million years ago in Internet time, I wrote an article intended as a sort of clarion call about losing our gaming history.  You can dust off the electrons and find it here.

This weekend, two events reminded me of that article.  The first was reading about how Alan Wake, the Remedy developed atmospheric action game, was about to be delisted from digital sale from Steam and Xbox Live storefront due to music licensing issues.  When smaller titles are released in only the digital format, they occasionally disappear and the lost content may be lamented on an equally small scale.  (Not to claim irrelevance, just the level of awareness.)  To have a decently successful IP such as Alan Wake become unavailable for purchase seven years after release may still seem pretty reasonable in our gaming economy.  Every game goes out of print eventually, right? 



Continue reading Saving Games...Continue?



Posted on Feb 4th 2017 at 08:00:00 AM by (Disposed Hero)
Posted under Review, PC, PS2, Xbox, Lost Heaven, Open World, Shooter


I have never considered myself to be primarily a PC gamer, but there was a time back in the late '90s and early 2000s when I did a considerable amount of gaming on the PC.  During this time, I played such revered classics as Half-Life, Max Payne, and Deus Ex, all of which I would consider to be among my all-time favorites.  Many excellent games were being released exclusively on PC, and when these titles were later ported to consoles, the results were often lackluster. 

One such game from this era that I have always remembered fondly is Mafia.  Releasing less than a year after the immensely popular Grand Theft Auto III, it may be easy to dismiss Mafia as a cheap knockoff.  While Mafia may resemble the Grand Theft Auto series at first glance, I have always felt that it was the "anti-GTA" game.  Although both games share similarities with their open-world environments, crime-based stories, and emphasis on driving and shooting gameplay mechanics, Mafia's more serious and less satirical tone, focus on realism, and larger emphasis on narrative rather than free roaming sandbox gameplay sets it apart from Rockstar's juggernaut.


Continue reading Mafia



Posted on Dec 26th 2016 at 08:00:00 AM by (SirPsycho)
Posted under Dragon Warrior, super famicom, ps2, playstation 2, ds, square enix, enix


Dragon Quest V is one of the most important role playing games to ever be released. Despite this, it has been a near unknown outside of Japan. Enix struggled to establish any sort of long term foothold in the North American gaming market. They were a bit more successful in Europe, enough to keep the doors open through the mid-90s. Translating RPGs is a long, expensive process, and Dragon Quest was the company's flagship series. The first four games on NES were all localized and released, but the process likely started too late. Japan got to see the full, natural evolution of these early Famicom RPGs, while the Western games were jumbled. They released a few years after their initial release as well. Japan originally saw the first Final Fantasy releasing two short months before Dragon Quest III. In the timeline of Western releases, Final Fantasy actually beat Dragon Quest II to market. Being a full game behind made Enix's games look that much weaker once they released internationally.

A big promotion with Nintendo Power got a lot of copies of the first Dragon Quest game circulated in North America, but the sales of each subsequent game in the series just fell. The later games in the series were also hurt, since they were released after the Super Nintendo's release. The early games in the series were like building blocks, introducing more core mechanics with each subsequent game. By the time that Dragon Quest V was getting ready for release, all these pieces were in place, and the focus on telling the personal story of the heroes became even more prevalent.


Continue reading Dragon Quest V: The Lost Masterpiece



Posted on Jun 21st 2016 at 08:00:00 AM by (GrayGhost81)
Posted under collecting, collecting, nes, snes, ps2


It's been quite a while since I gave any love to my actual collection, either in real life or on RF Generation. In fact, after recently moving my entire collection for the second time in just under a year, I noted it to be quite burdensome, and I found myself wondering: "Why?" However, in organizing, setting up, and alphabetizing everything after the move, I realized I truly still love the hobby. Holding items in my hands, which I forgot I even had, renewed the sense that I am in fact curating a library of games and items that reflects my personal tastes and curiosities. The room I'm using in our new place is actually smaller than any I've put my games in before, but I actually think this is the best iteration of my game room yet for exactly that reason. The cozy, intimate setting takes me back to huddling around a garbage-picked CRT dinosaur in my parents' basement playing Super Nintendo with my friends and siblings. Let's be honest, the reason we collect is largely to chase that feeling.

As much as we try to organize, there are always odds and ends that fail classification and confound even the most obsessive collectors. Sure enough, after the move I discovered and took a second look at some of the eccentricities in my game library. I imagine we all have odds and ends like this, and they should be celebrated. They make our collections unique. Here's what I have.   


Continue reading Collection Odds and Ends



Posted on Sep 22nd 2015 at 05:27:45 PM by (bigbrutis)
Posted under PS2, PlayStation 2





Posted on Apr 26th 2015 at 11:57:35 AM by (SirPsycho)
Posted under sandbox, irem, atlus, ps2, open world, rpg, action, customize


Steambot Chronicles, or Ponkotsu Roman Daikatsugeki: Bumpy Trot as it was originally named in Japan, is a Playstation 2 game developed and published by Irem in Japan, Atlus in North America, and 505 Gamestreet in a few countries in Europe. There is also a spin off on PSP named Steambot Chronicles: Battle Tournament, and an odd tie-in puzzle game on PS2 and PSP named Blokus Portable: Steambot Championship (one of only four games published by Majesco on the PSP in the USA).

A quick look at the back of the case of Steambot Chronicles shows the game being marketed as an open world RPG, and that is correct in a way. The game starts off as linear as any other RPG that's been made and then opens up. It's similar to the opening dungeon in Elder Scrolls, but drags on much longer. In this long opening sequence, you'll visit all three of the main towns, many of the back areas, and explore most of the world by the time it's completely opened up. Once an area is open, it may be visited at any time afterwards, and as a result, money can be hoarded this way.


Continue reading Psychotic Reviews: Steambot Chronicles



Posted on Jan 3rd 2015 at 08:53:54 PM by (Zagnorch)
Posted under Goodwill, 3ds, ps2, psp, chess

ZAGNORCH PRODUCTIONS INC., LLC

PRESENTS


2015

A NEW YEAR'S THRIFTING ODYSSEY


Greetings from Terra!

My adventure began when I saw this notice on the front door of the local Goodwill around mid-December:




Needless to say, my plans to just goof off and kick back on New Year's Day went right out the window. Instead, I embarked on one of my patented cross-county thrift runs. With over a dozen Goodwills within a half-hour drive from home, I figured I'd find more than a few things of interest.  When the first day of 2015 was in the books, I'd logged a twelve-hour trip, driven over a hundred miles, and filled eleven blue cases with some pretty awesome swag.






First stop: the Almaden/Foxworthy Goodwill. Although its asking prices for games and hardware are rarely reasonable, it does get in a few interesting things from time to time that I'm willing to pay a little extra for...




...like these CIB Asia-region PSP games (Mobile Suit Gundam Seed: Rengou vs. Z.A.F.T. Portable, Tenchu 4, and Monster Hunter Portable 2nd G) that set me back $5.99 $4.43 each.

Then it was on to the Blossom Hill/Snell location. It hadn't had much of... well, anything since it was remodeled a few months back. Today, however, was a different story...






...a not-quite-CIB Piano Discovery System for PC for $19.99 $9.80. All I need is a connector cable... and DOS Box... and probably a few adapters... and I'll be all set to rockit with John Herbie Hancock! While this pickup isn't all that... miraculous... at least it doesn't need a foot pedal.

Grin


BTW it wasn't until I was home that I discovered that it bore another price tag neither I nor the cashier had noticed:




You know what they say: never attempt to correct an error in your favor. Anyhoo, also found at the same location, setting me back $4.99 $3.72:




The adventure continued at the Capitol/Silver Creek store, where I found this for $4.99 $3.72:




And then I hit the one-oh-one and headed south to the Mecca of Garlic. There was nothing of note at the Gilroy Goodwill, but the Salvation Army store across town was a slightly different story:




An original-release CIB Ratchet Deadlocked for $3.50 to replace my Greatest Hits copy, and...




...a CIB Saitek Kasparov Cougar chess computer for $19.99.

I then drove a few miles up the road and hit the outlet mall, where I found...




...a CIB pair  New Balance 510 trail-walker shoes to replace my well-worn 605s. And what better way to break in a pair of trail-walker shoes than to hit the local hiking trails for a couple hours?



Always insist on 100% natural lens flare! J.J. Abrams eat your heart out!


With some daylight to spare, I headed northward, eventually making it to the Cupertino store, where I grabbed:




Then it was the Mountain View Goodwill's turn, which yielded...




I gave the Empire Strikes Back mini lunchbox tin to someone I knew would get a kick out of it:



Oah! Appreciative of this gift I am! Very much thank you! Mmm-hmm-hmm, yes!


Up next was Sunnyvale, the original hometown of Atari, and the first Goodwill store I ever set foot in. This particular stop only yielded...




...a CIB copy of Descent Freespace: Silent Threat for just $1.24? Now we're talkin'. But wait, what's this disclaimer on the package?




Aw, maaaan... it's just an expansion? Well, that totally blows. Eon knows how many long hours I'll have to spend to find the main game that goes with--




Oh wait, there it is; just had to flip the box over is all. Okay, never mind.

The final stop of the day would be the Palo Alto Goodwill. Located in "the birthplace of Silicon Valley," this store has yielded many of my greatest vidya scores over the last few years. This is where I found my first Miracle Piano, my Atari 2600 Jr., my first near-CIB Dreamcast, and countless games and portable consoles. Its constant supply of the good stuff, friendly and helpful staff, and close proximity to my workplace has kept me coming back on a very regular basis. Culminating my New Year's thrifting odyssey here seemed to make all the sense in the world. And yet... it could very well have been the worst time to have come. For one thing, the place had been open for business all day, and the sun had set two hours earlier. If there had been anything there at the start of the day that I would have been interested in, surely it would have long since been sold and out the door? Undaunted, I ventured inside.

A bad omen appeared right away: the electronics showcase couldn't be unlocked because someone had misplaced the key. Inside that case, mocking me in deafening silence, was a CIB copy of Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness. Oh, the horror. What kind of loving God would allow this to happen, I lamented. Adding insult to injury, one of the clerks said he was sure he saw a copy of Twilight Princess for Game Cube somewhere in there. That's when I realized that there is no God.

Theological dilemmas notwithstanding, I looked around the place, hoping to find something worthy of purchase. After several minutes of fruitless searching, I conceded defeat, and headed for the exit. I was just about to open the door when I took a quick look at the front-end display case... and caught a glimpse of something. My curiosity piqued, I took a closer look, and grinned from ear to ear when I realized that I'd discovered...




...a loose limited-edition Fire Emblem Awakening 3DS with Pokemon X card? Aw hellz yeah! Now I know what you're asking yourself right now... and here's the answer:



($11.19 after discount)


If that isn't the greatest capper ever to an amazing thrift crawl, then I don't know what is. And if the first day of 2015 is any indication, it's gonna be

The BEST YEAR EVAR!!!11one1one1!!!1one!1!!!!


I can hardly wait to see what I'll bump into next. And I bet you can hardly wait, either. Worry not, for I'll keep you in he loop.

Until next time...


...'Late



Posted on Nov 25th 2014 at 03:57:19 PM by (GryeDor)
Posted under Mega Man, Megaman, NES, Wily Wars, Genesis, Anniversary Collection, PS2, Powered Up, PSP

In this episode, a mainstay of classic gaming: Mega Man. We'll look at it's rereleases on the Sega Genesis, PS2 and the PSP. How do all the ports, remakes and compilations compare to the original?





Posted on Nov 7th 2014 at 01:23:45 AM by (Zagnorch)
Posted under Nintendo Power, Goodwill, Savers, PS2, Mario

HEY NOW!

As many of you already know, the week started on a pretty low note for me.



Daylight burglaries aren't exactly a laugh-a-minute.


But things improved immensely today when I got off work and embarked on what I call a "hot-hand" thrift crawl, where almost every stop yielded at least a little something, and a couple stops a LOT something. Read on and you'll see what I mean.

The day started off small as I dropped by the Goodwill near work:



Although they lacked manuals, I found Mario Kart Wii and New SMB Wii for $3.99 each.

Then came the deluge as I hit the Mountain View Rasputin's:




This haul consisted mainly of $1.95 CIB PS2 games, including:

- Conflict: Global Terror
- Dark Cloud
- Dr. Muto
- Kessen II
- Romance of the Three Kingdoms VIII
- Samurai Warriors XTreme Legends
- Star Wars Bounty Hunter
- Terminator Dawn of Fate
- Wizardry: Tale of the Forsaken Land



I also found a few $1.95 CIB PSP games:

- Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures
- Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2
- Monster Hunter Freedom Unite



Let's not overlook the $1.95 CIB 360 & GameCube games:

- Wario Ware, Inc.
- Donkey Konga
- Kameo: Elements of Power
- Gun (sealed)


Finally, some miscellaneous stuff I snapped up for $0.50 a pop:

- CIB Age of Mythology Bonus Edition for PC
- Riven for PC
- Official XBox Magazine #45 demo
- CIB Kiss Pinball for PS1


Next up was the Mountain View Goodwill, where I found a morsel of number-crunching goodness:



While this $4.99 Texas Instruments BA-II Plus business calculator was a nice find, there were no gaming goodies of note at this stop. Good thing it was a different story at the Parkmoor Savers in San Jose:





For a little over seven smackers, I walked out with fifteen Nintendo Power back issues-- and I mean WAY back, between issues 16 and 41-- as well as Mario Mania, Top Secret Passwords and a Ninja Gaiden II player's guide.


Next up was the Almaden Expressway Savers, which yielded all you see here:





The Super Mario 2 cart, CIB Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter, and CIB Supreme Commander were $2.99 $2.39 each with savings coupon, and the Nintendo Power Mario Collector's Special set me back $1.99 $1.59.

Funny thing about the Dragon Quarter pick-up: a few minutes before I saw it, I was thinking about SirPsycho's recent acquisition of the same game, and how it looked like a promising title. It's a happy coincidence that's happened a couple times before in my thrift hunts, and has almost led me to believe I have some odd power of clairvoyance. But it's not that I possess odd powers; I'm just plain odd.

A few miles up the expressway, and I arrived at the Almaden Goodwill. Sadly, this particular store has some of the most ridiculous asking prices for console games and hardware I'v ever seen. $9.99 for a loose Ecco the Dolphin Genesis cart with a half-ripped-off label? Thanks, but no thanks (and tell the pricer to stop hitting the pipe). Fortunately, I'm always finding other interesting things here for far more reasonable prices...





...like this CIB Tomy Atomic Pinball game for $5.99. And, ummm, you might wanna cut back on the heavy breathing there, SingleBanana; you're kinda creeping everybody out with that. Someone's in need of a cold shower.

After checking out another Goodwill that didn't have diddley, I ended today's run at the Bernal Goodwill, where I found:





- Metal Gear Saga Vol. 2 / MGS4 bonus DVD, $3.79

- CIB PlayStation Official UK Magazine demo disc 25, $3.99

- Sealed Dungeon Keeper for PC, $3.59


Needless to say, I'm feeling a little better now.

Until next time...


...'Late



Posted on Mar 1st 2014 at 06:10:45 AM by (ReddMcKnight)
Posted under Gaming, Port, PS2, PS Vita

NOTE: This is a rewrite, due to the original not publishing correctly. Some sentences may have changed.

Whew...Things have finally calmed down around here, so I've had plenty of free time for gaming. Here's what I've been going at.


Sonic R is a Sonic the Hedgehog Racing Game. Hated by many, I actually enjoy it a lot. I've been playing the PS2 Port on Sonic Gems Collection, an Import Collection of Sonic Games. This game is hated so much by everyone, that there is actually a myth that if you use a certain character in it, you will die. This is crap, of course. It's a fun game with some Characters not seen in any other Sonic game, and it also has catchy music. It's well worth any Sonic/Racing fan's time.


Persona 4 Golden is a remake of Persona 4 for the Vita. Originally released for the PS2, it has new content on the Vita. It is a School Sim/RPG where you have to solve a Murder Mystery while living life as a High School Student. Unlike actual High School though, this is fun, and, you know, NOT LAME. Since you've all probably played Persona 4 on the PS2, there isn't much more for me to say about this one, other than should you be looking to play Persona 4 again, play this version.


Valhalla Knights 3 is an RPG for the Vita. It's the sequel to the 2nd one on the PSP, as well as the Spin-Off on the Wii. It's quite challenging, and described by many as a chore to play. That being said, stupid critics constantly give the games bad scores, and so naturally, people agree with them, and they sell poorly. Still, there are true fans, and while the game can be hard to play, and there really is nothing new here, it's still a fun game. It's definitely not for everyone though, due to some suggestive material (It's rated M for crying out loud!).


Assassin's Creed IV is...actually pretty cool. Initially, I hated the series, but this one really fixed everything. It's open world, it's about a Pirate turned Assassin, there's plenty of things to do, and what's more, it's all based on historic events. Not much more to say here, as you've all probably played it. I've been playing the Wii U Version.

Well, that's all for now. See you all next entry.



Posted on Nov 9th 2013 at 09:56:23 PM by (Zagnorch)
Posted under Shadow the Hedgehog, Sonic, Sega, Halloween, Drunk, Emo, PS2

DISCLAIMER: The following presentation has content that may be offensive to some... and a turn-on to others.


you have been duly warned.



PREFACE: hey now, fellow RF Gentlemen. The following presentation is the second of what I plan to be an annual Halloween series (view the first one at http://www.rfgeneration.c...Giants-and-Booze-2318.php ). Before you dive in, however, I would like to apologize for posting it so late. Between work, editing my drunken ramblings into something remotely coherent, thrift runs, and-- well, you'll find out in the postscript-- I wasn't able to put this out in as timely a fashion as I'd have liked. I only ask that you forgive my blatant tardiness as

The 'Norch Porch Presents

HALLOWEEN HANGOVER: BEYOND A SHADOW OF SOBRIETY

Hey now...

Well, it's that time of year again. Just me in my humble domicile, all by my lonesome, with a big bag of Skittles and Starburst that'll never see the inside of a trick-or-treater's goody bag, a few choice libations, some Detroit-based snacks, and a certain game to (hopefully) enjoy as my BAC increases throughout the night. This time 'round, I've decided to go with a fellow who'd fit right in with the whole Halloween scene. He's got the whole goth/emo thing down pat, from the black color scheme (with red trim), to his bleak and tragic half-remembered past. The furry fanboys adore him for his stoic, grim-and-gritty demeanor. The fangirls just can't stop writing really creepy ship-fics about him. And, after seeing him in action in this game, the NRA is still trying to get him to be their next chairman.

Of course, I'm referring to...





Oh, for--NOT THAT SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG! Dammit, I thought I burned every last copy of that picture! CURSE YOU, INTERNET!


You're freakin'-a  right I'm mad! And I'm NOT your bro!!!


Nope, I'm talking about THIS Shadow the Hedgehog:



I could go into exhaustive detail about how the opening teaser alone represents all that is wrong and just plain absurd about this game, but that territory has been trod upon so much over the last eight years that it's rather hackish to discuss it any further. Besides, my nerdball musings on the matter will cut into my fitshaced playing time. Which reminds me: for this foray into one amnesiac, emotionally unstable hedgehog's fight for his Second Amendment rights...




HEY! Get your own damn firearms, d!ckweed!


...I've decided to go with absinthe, which is the preferred drink of the goth/emo crowd, according to the internet. And if nothing else, the internet is the ultimate bastion of truth and accuracy.

]
...what?


Ummm... I also grabbed a six-pack of Redd's Apple Ale. Why this particular pick-up, you ask?



Oh... no particular reason at all, nopey nope nope.

Also on hand, courtesy of my main man Razor Knuckles: Reese's Pieces and Better Made BBQ flavor potato chips. Oh, and Faygo cream cola and strawberry soda, which has inspired me to take a listen to my fave ICP album while playing this bad boy.


WHO'S GOIN' CHICKEN HUNTIN'? WE'S GOIN' CHICKEN HUNTIN'!


And, bless his little heart, Raze also provided the game. Which means I have the perfect scapegoat to place the blame on should this not go well. If that isn't the mark of a true friend, then I don't know what is.


If only you knew what you were getting yourself into, my good man.


Oh, and I decided to get in costume for this little electronic excursion:


How's this for edgy?


All right, let's get this show on the road.


STAGE 1: Westopolis

I started by taking out just about anything that shot at me, and then decided to limit my kills to the alien freakos, and the GUN robots. The aliens have the cooler weaponry, anyway, with zap-zap-shooty-lazor-beams. Not as cool as, say, a nice chaos-spear energy blast from my hands, but hey, you gotta make do. And why is Sonic "helping" me out? Who does he think he is, Tails from Sonic 2?


More like Sonic the Glory-hog.


Stage 2: Glyphic Canyon

Oh great, now I got Knuckles helping out now. So much for that rugged loner rep. And he's a bit toofriendly here, too . and even dopier than usual.man, I miss the days when he was trolling Sonic and Tails something fierce. Now hes just a comic-relief punching bag in the cutscene backgrounds. Well at least his voice is more pleassnt than that Dr. Claw-sounding dude.

Geezus, the controls are like, Im trying to get Shadow to move and aim at the right taraget, but its like the surface of every level is greased with Crisco... and Shadows coping with a brain injury. Hell, I must be coping with a brain injury to be playing this. Maybe you should dump the jet skate things and just run like that faker. With any luck I'll get hosed to the point of blacking out and not remembering any of this.


Stage 3: Prison Island

Charmy, just goway . Your anything but charming to... well to anyone really. nobody likes you.. Go have a duel to the death with omochao or something. Hopefully youll kill each other and Big the Cat gets offed in the crossfire. I know the Chaotix had to make some budget cuts, but why did Mighty have to be one of them?

Ooh here comes my fave ICP track gotta turn it UP


Hey, hey wait a minute, I made you! Get them not me--WAIT A MINUTE MUTHAF*CKA


Stage 4: Sky Troops

Okay, now I got eggbotnik helping out. Well at least it gives me his robots and ships to shoot at. And I gt to use a canon to shoot at the eggships. Just like skylanders niiiiice. BTW I found a way to make this game a lil more enoyble: imagine the guys im shootin at wrote some really pervy Shadow fanfics, or poretend theyre Rule 34 artists, and Im getting revenge on em by KILLIN THEM DEDD.


Let me show my appreciation for your inflation art
of me by INFLATING YOU WITH LEAD!!!


STAGE 5: Don't know dont care

Wow this games growin onme for some reason. Im achuallygettin into it. Hold on, Gonna pause th game for a mome an give our hero a lil talkin to. Um, Hey... hey shadow? I knw youre fictional an stuff, but Im surprised you haven't put th moves on Rouge yet. I mean come on it'sno secret you really dig her.


Or certain parts of her, anyway.

Seriusly ou really goota let maria go man. Your relationship comes off less like a close friendship, and more like some creepy furry-pedo-necrophilia thning.


An ode to Shadow's depraved obsession.


It really gives me the dooch chils. I mean You don't see Sonic-- er I mean that faker caught up in such shenangians--



Oh. Riht never mind.

Look, all Im tryin to say is... HEY F*CK THE STUPID GAME! IM TRYIN TO HELPS OU HERE, @$$HOLE!

...

Lokk im sorry man, I didn mean to yll atcha. You... you know... you know is till love you right? Right? Yeah yeah, no homo, hee heeee... hey wait a minute



Um, why are you staring... there? An grining?




Holy crap youre not gonna do what I think you're



Tails gives a new meaning to
the term "getting some head."


OH MY FREAING GOD IM GONNA SPEW FFWOIDHWERFOERDPWEBDEHGBIPEHOPFREOIHDIFIEU[9AWE

*GASP* Oh god the taste and smell of half-digested reeses pieces mixed wih absinthe is so disgusting here comes a second wave fjrefroiffoitgbhrog;flhlfofohhf[ioja[sehgde

*GUUUUHH* sweet haysoose h. some of that last heave went out through my nose that's just gross oh no not agai--  fmfrfmlrefmerlfmre-wq329r43jroinefrefmrlfrlf

*UUUURGH*GASP* okay im good now... all emptied out. Gonna need some gatorade though, and

Wait whats this




OH JESUS FU-- MDTMNFWKJLEVNBFLDHN NHXICU HTDFOIDFCJ GIG LNFAHD VIUF HFO SIFGHRIS;O FHD FOUGOUSCHFCMKLVDHGMSCOFHVDMFCDJACNIVOGHROIOCFSHDVG OR HCFSVGHRSEOICFHGCSECFRVDFHCEAOFG RHVOCFE NSAMOIVGRI

*THUD*


POSTSCRIPT:  In case you're wondering: no, I did not regain consciousness in a puddle of my own sick the next morning. I took the precaution of keeping a high-capacity wastebasket within reach. It's a lesson I learned the hard way. Speaking of learning the hard way:



Passed out after just one Redd's?! Faker...


ANYway, a few days after playing Shadow the Hedgehog on an Allhallow's Eve bender, I decided to go at it sober. And I don't know what it was, but... I actually kinda liked playing this nonsensical game with the absurd missions, slippery controls, and annoying interchanging "sidekicks." Hell, I'm STILL playing it as of this writing, trying to unlock and complete every mission, beat every boss, and access every single good stage, evil stage, ring, key, damned fourth chaos emerald, computer room, and weapon! I even ordered the Prima strategy guide for goodness sakes! Meanwhile, I've hardly touched my new copy of Sonic Lost World. Good lord, what the hell is wrong with me?!


Oh, where to begin...


All right, time to wind this up. Yes, Shadow the Hedgehog is dumb... but it's dumb in a way I find oddly entertaining and compelling. If I were to give it a cinematic parallel, it would be Dude, Where's My Car? which, despite being downright idiotic, I couldn't stop watching from start to finish. Sure it insulted my intelligence, but, dammit, it was fun to watch.  And when you get down to it, the most important thing about gaming, or watching movies, or any other hobby or pursuit, is to have fun while doing it. Shockingly and improbably, Shadow the Hedgehog delivered for me...

...and it's all Razor Knuckles' fault.

I hope you're proud of yourself, "friend." Angry



'Late



                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
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